Page 81 of Fighting for Lucy

It wasn’t weak to admit you needed someone.

Asking for help was a strength. While it might not always be easy to do, it was important and something she wanted to learn to do and do comfortably. Human beings needed other humans, they couldn’t do everything alone, and she no longer felt compelled to prove herself over and over again.

“Lucy, I … this is my fault.” With featherlight touches, his fingertips brushed across the lump on her head, and then over her neck where she was sure there were at least half a dozen nicks from the knife.

“How do you figure that?”

A frown furrowed his brow, and she couldn’t resist reaching up and smoothing it away. Anything to touch him just in case she couldn’t convince him to stay. Zander might think leaving was the right thing to do for her, but he couldn’t be more wrong. She needed him in a way she’d never needed another person.

“Zimraan only took you because of me,” Zander said like it was obvious.

“Right, sure, but how does that make ityourfault. Did you ask him to take me? Did you want him to take me? Did you enjoy watching what he did to me?”

“Hell no,” he roared, then straightened, his hands clenching into fists as he stormed around her hospital room like his emotions were too big for him to contain.

Well, he could join the club.

Because her emotions were bubbling inside her like a kettle put on to boil. Sooner or later, they were going to come screeching out and she had no idea how she was going to deal with that when it happened.

But what she did know was that when those emotions came out, it would be so much easier to cope if she wasn’t alone. If she had Zander by her side. He was what she needed, he was the one who understood what she’d been through, he had lived it with her. If there was a way to let him see inside her head and understand how much she needed him, she’d be all over it, but the facts were she couldn’t force him to stay.

Nor did she want to.

She wanted him to be with her because he couldn’t not, because walking away was impossible, because he needed her as much as she needed him.

“Do you see me differently now? Am I no longer beautiful to you because I’m going to have scars?” Saying the words hurt because she knew she was going to have a hard time dealing with the scars that would litter her body, but she needed to make Zander realize the truth no matter what she had to say to do it.

“Why would you say that?” he raged as he stormed back over to the bed.

Instead of answering, she continued to ask him questions. “Do you think I'm weak now? I screamed and cried whenZimraan was peeling off my skin, and I couldn’t fight off his men when they were dragging me to the table.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Zander demanded, fire dancing in his eyes.

“Just trying to figure out why you’d want to walk away from me when we should be clinging to one another.”

“You are without a doubt the strongest woman I have ever known. You have survived so much, dealt with so much, and its only because of you that Zimraan is dead and no longer a threat.”

“Maybe you’ve decided my epilepsy is too much to handle. It will always affect me and there are things I can't do because of it.”

“What you deal with every single day only makes you stronger,” he said fiercely.

“Do you think I'm a liar then? That I didn't mean it when I said I was always going to be there for you?”

“You're not a liar.”

“Then maybe I'm stupid and don’t even know what I want or what I need.”

“You're smart, smarter than me.”

“So, if I'm not stupid, I'm not weak, I'm not a liar, and you still think I'm beautiful, then why would you walk away from me?” This time she allowed a hint of the vulnerability she felt seep into her voice.

“Hell, baby girl, it’s not you it’s all me,” he said, raking his fingers through his hair. “It’s always me, never you, you're perfect. I didn't think it was possible, but I love you even more now. Seeing how brave you were, how you fought for yourself and your life. Then seeing you lying here, fighting for us while I feel like I'm floundering. I don’t want to walk away. Damn, nothing scares me more than walking away from you, losing you. But I don’t know if I'm as strong as you are, baby. You fightfor what you want, but the problem is I don’t think I'm worth fighting for.”

Lucy just stared at him in shock.

Had he really said what she thought he had?

Everything else had faded away as she had fixated on the most important part.

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