Page 84 of Fighting for Lucy

Somehow, at the same time as holding her close like she was the most precious thing in his world, Zander had also managed to be clear-headed enough to ensure her broken arm was kept out of the water, draped over his shoulder as her other armwrapped around his chest, clinging to him in a silent plea for him not to leave her.

She needed him.

More than she’d ever needed anyone else.

It was a different kind of need, it felt soul-deep, like if he went, he’d take a part of her with him that she would never be able to get back.

“Shh, baby girl, I'm here, I'm here,” Zander whispered into her hair as he tucked her face close against his neck. One of his large hands cradled the back of her head, his fingers massaging her scalp just as they had been doing moments before as he worked the shampoo through her long, dirty locks. His other arm was around her waist, keeping her anchored against him the same way she was doing with him.

The thought made her smile.

They might be adrift in the middle of a vast ocean, with no clues how to navigate the emotional landscape before them, but they weren't alone. They had each other. That was a thought she kept hanging onto. The more she thought it the more she could make it a reality.

“I'm not going to leave you, baby, that’s a promise.”

His words set off another wave of tears, but this time joyful ones. Earlier in the hospital, he’d told her he would stay with her always, but since she continued to sense his doubts and insecurity, she continued to have doubts, too.

Maybe she was going to need to hear a few more times that Zander wasn’t going anywhere.

“You swear?” she asked through her tears, nuzzling at his neck.

“Baby, I might never think I'm worthy of you, but as long as you want me here by your side that’s where I'm going to be.”

“I'm always going to want you by my side.”

“Then I'm always going to be here.”

Smiling as she lifted her head, she feathered a line of kisses along his stubbled jaw. Tears continued to roll down her cheeks, but she ignored them because warmth was spreading inside her.

This man was hers.

Forever.

He’d told her that he was going to be by her side for as long as she wanted him, and she was going to hold him to it.

She wasn’t letting him go and he had better get himself used to that idea.

“I need you, Zander,” she whimpered, shifting until her center lined up with his hardening erection.

“Baby girl, we can't,” he groaned, although by the heated look in his eyes he clearly wanted to. “You have broken ribs, a broken foot, a broken arm, cuts and bruises everywhere, bigger wounds with stitches, and you’ve had two seizures in the last week. The doctors said no strenuous activity for at least a month.”

“Can’t wait a month,” she told him. And really it was as simple as that. In the last week she had survived a plane crash, being kidnapped and tortured in Mexico, being kidnapped and tortured in Syria, and a fall out of a helicopter. It wasn’t wrong for her to want to celebrate being alive. Being with the man she loved.

“Don’t want to hurt you,” Zander murmured, sweeping his fingertips across her wet cheeks to catch the last of her tears.

“You won't. We’ll be careful. Not hot and steamy this time, just you and me making sweet, gentle love. Unless you're in pain,” she added. Just because he had no broken bones didn't mean he wasn’t injured and hurting, too. There were bruises over most of his body, horrible black and blue marks that made her want to cry every time she looked at them.

“No, baby, I'm not in pain. I just can't hurt you again.”

“It won't hurt, I swear, and even if it did, I don’t care. I need to feel you inside me, Zander. I need to feel that you're alive,that I'm alive, that we survived and we’re here together. Please, Zander. I just need … you.”

“Baby, I don’t think I can say no to you about anything.”

“Thank you.” She dropped a kiss to his lips as his large hands framed her face and his serious eyes met hers. There was so much tenderness and affection in those deep brown depths that more tears filled her eyes.

“You let me do all the work though, okay?”

“Okay,” she quickly agreed, anything so that he would hurry up and get inside her, filling the void in her heart.

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