Page 116 of The Au Pair Affair

“I don’t think today is a good idea,” she blurted.

“Why?”

“You’re being so... wonderful. And I’m...” She shut her eyes. “I movedon. I did.”

He ignored the meat cleaver burying in the middle of his chest. “Let me ask you again, how do you want the day to go?”

“Hey, folks!” Carlos was standing beside them, waving both hands. “All aboard the adventure train. Your guide is waiting at reception.”

Tallulah never took her eyes off Burgess and vice versa. “Can we just share the experience without any expectations, maybe? Please?” She wet her lips. “Every time you get close to me, like this, I panic. And the worst part is, you used to be the reason Ididn’tpanic. You really hurt me, okay?” Her eyes drifted shut. “Obviously, I still have feelings for you, they didn’t just disappear overnight, but I don’t... I—I don’t think we’re getting back together.”

“I’ll just wait over there,” Carlos muttered, zipping away.

Until that moment, Burgess wasn’t sure he’d realized how deeply he’d wounded her. The extent of the damage, the trust he’d mangled like a car wreck. And all at once, he felt like the King Asshole. So arrogant, coming to this wedding thinking he could flash his pecs and win this perfect person back over. After what he’d said?

After so callously severing the bond they’d built?

I’m a complete idiot.

His closeness was hurting her. The damage he’d inflicted must be irreversible.

And the only thing he could think of that was worse thanliving without Tallulah was hurting her any more than he already had.

It took all of Burgess’s strength to speak, but when he did, he meant every word like he’d chiseled them into a stone tablet. “We can have today with no expectations.”

You can stop panicking now, Tallulah. I’m setting you free.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

“Who wants to go first?”

For the first time since they’d left the resort, Burgess and Tallulah looked at each other. The van ride had been brief, but quiet, even if their guide—Apollo—had kept up a steady stream of chatter about the local flora and fauna while they bumped their way through the rainforest to the zip-lining center. Burgess had appeared to be reeling while she’d sat beside him swallowing apologies, reminding herself over and over that she had nothing to feel sorry for.

And she didn’t.

Allowing herself to bond with Burgess had been scary, but she’d learned to trust him and she could still feel the hole he’d verbally punched into her chest. Every time they touched now, her fight-or-flight response was triggered. Unfortunately, not even the hunger she still felt for Burgess could overcome her instinct to survive, to avoid being hurt again.

They stood on the top of a platform overlooking the endless green canopy of trees that seemed to continue right on through the horizon, the thick black wires stretching out and down, before vanishing into a clearing... and she could feel it.

She couldfeelit.

He’d decided to respect her wishes and let her go.

Her legs were so weak over that realization that a gentle breeze could have carried her clean off the platform. She’d drift downinto the trees like a badly folded paper airplane. And the thing was, she’d meant what she said, wholeheartedly.

As soon as the truth was off her chest, however, healing became a possibility for the first time since everything crashed down. The panic she’d felt over his touch this morning was nothing compared to the panic that erupted when he shot her a questioning glance, then away just as quickly, as if forcing himself to detach.

“I’d like Tallulah to go first, so I can be here to make sure she’s strapped in tightly and the damn thing is safe,” he said gruffly, without looking at her.

Tallulah’s heart squeezed.

Burgess was still protecting her. He couldn’t help it.

But he wouldn’t be around to consider her safety much longer, would he?

She’d choked off his air supply of hope.

“Come to think of it, Burgess should probably go first,” said Apollo, still chipper despite the tension blanketing the platform. “I’m going to have to loosen the harness to fit someone his size and it will be easier for me to tighten it around Tallulah afterward.”

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