Page 123 of The Au Pair Affair

The thought of going home and coping with the reality of life without her... it scared the shit out of him. For the last six weeks, he’d pushed himself to heal, drove himself to train and fight through pain and discomfort, propelled by one goal: get Tallulah back in his life. And Lissa’s.

If he failed... what then? Wake up every morning knowing she was out there... just notwithhim? And that she never would be, because he’d taken her for granted once in a moment of weakness? That sounded like hell on earth. And yet, somehow, he’d have to take the lessons he’d learned from Tallulah and continue to apply them, because they made him a better man. A better father. He’d live for her in his words and deeds, even if she wasn’t physically there. Every second of it would be excruciating, but he wouldn’t go backward.

Only forward.

Even if he only had the memory of her to propel him.

When he heard footsteps approaching, Burgess swallowed the burn in his throat and stood, turning to find Wells, Josephine, Tallulah, and Carlos coming down the lit stone pathway, and immediately his pulse started hammering in triple time.

“Jesus,” Burgess muttered. Every time he thought Tallulah couldn’t get more beautiful, she found a way to prove him wrong. Instead of the tight, short revenge dress she’d worn on the first night, she had on a long dark purple one that blew in the breeze, a golden cuff around her upper arm, her hair loose, wavy, possibly still full of salt water from their excursion. She looked soft and sun-kissed and perfect. In every way.

“Hey, man,” Wells said, gripping his hand to bring him in for a quick hug and a back slap. “You been out here long?”

Burgess shrugged, leaned down to kiss Josephine’s cheek. “Thought I’d watch the sun go down.”

The redhead laughed up at him with her eyes. “Were there no hockey games rerunning on television?”

“Hockey isn’t everything,” he said, without thinking, realizing he meant it. He meant it even more with Tallulah standing in front of him with an apology swimming in her eyes—and Burgess knew instantly that it was over. She’d decided to walk away. She’d taken the hours they’d spent apart this afternoon to think and her conclusion was... no. No to him. No to the lifethey’d fashioned together, a staid single father, a lively and wise au pair, a confused twelve-year-old. They weren’t going to find out what happened next.

It was right there on her face.

His stomach sank down between his feet, fingers numbing, heart giving up altogether.

He couldn’t even feel it beating anymore.

“Can we talk?” Tallulah whispered.

“After,” Burgess forced out around the object in his throat, knowing he needed time to get his head on straight, his own emotions under control. He needed to brace himself, prepare. Although he’d never be prepared to hear she’d chosen to make him a part of her past, would he?

“Oh. Okay, sure,” she murmured, hesitating, then skirting past him to join Wells and Josephine at the white trellis overlooking the coastline. Burgess closed his eyes as Tallulah walked by, inhaling a lungful of her scent and wondering if she could be persuaded to pass on the name of her perfume before they went their separate ways.

He’d buy as many bottles as it took to last him until his last day on earth.

“Okay, everyone, we’ll make rehearsal short and sweet, since we’re due at dinner shortly. There are only two of you in the bridal party, so it shouldn’t take long at all,” Carlos said, positioning beneath the trellis, as though standing in for the priest. He motioned to the area in front of them, drawing an invisible rectangle in the air. “There will be white chairs here in the morning. Two sides. Josephine, I showed you the bridal suite earlier where you will be waiting with your father. We’ve already walked him through his duties in guiding you down the aisle, where Wells will be standing. Burgess, you will be on his right.”

Carlos took a few steps forward, guiding Burgess by the crook of his elbow to the spot he’d indicated. “This is where you’ll be.”

“You could have just asked me to move.”

The coordinator ignored him. “Tallulah, you will be on the opposite side, right beside the glowing bride. But of course, before any ofthishappens, Burgess and Tallulah will begin the procession by walking down the aisle together.”

That statement hit Burgess in the chest like a torpedo.

“What’s that now?” he asked, noticing Tallulah looking at him funny.

Why hadn’t it occurred to Burgess that he’d be walking down the aisle next to Tallulah? Of course, he would. He was the best man. She was the maid of honor. That’s how a wedding worked. Christ, the act was going to gut him.

“You were both away this afternoon,” Carlos carried on, seemingly unaware of the chaos he’d ignited in Burgess’s sternum. “I couldn’t show you the room where you’ll wait for my cue, so I’ll show you now. Come with me, please.”

In his periphery, he could feel Tallulah staring at him, but he couldn’t bring himself to look at her. From this moment on, he wouldn’t be able to so much as glance over. Having the memory of walking her down the aisle in his head was going to be bad enough without being able to recall her eyes, how her hair moved in the tropical wind, how the weight of her arm felt while hooked through his. No. He’d entered self-preservation mode.

“Burgess,” Tallulah said, as they followed Carlos up the path toward the small outbuilding adjacent to the main resort. “Are you... okay?”

He kept walking.

Was he okay?

Was she serious?

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