Page 4 of The Au Pair Affair

“Tallulah, I saw it. The video.” He braced himself for the conversation ahead. She could be scared of him. That possibility settled on his chest like a thousand-pound weight. “Is that what’s going on here? You saw a clip from a preseason game and it... made you nervous? About me?”

It took her a moment to respond. “My instincts are telling me it will be safe to live with you, but I have a hard time relying on my instincts when it comes to men. In other words, I don’t. My gut feeling is not always accurate. And I thought it would be enough that Wells and Josephine trust you, which is how I made it all the way to this smoothie shop with the terrible chairs. But the video... I guess it reminded me that people aren’t always what they seem.”

“I see.” Her explanation filled him with a sense of dread, but he kept his hands loose on the table, despite the urge to curl them into fists. Had Tallulah had a bad experience with a man? It seemed so. And right then and there, looking into her honest eyes, Burgess knew if he ever found out who it was, a broken nose would be a pleasure compared to what he’d do to them. “The way I play hockey is not an indication of who I am in real life. I think the same could be said about any player. It’s the sport. Sometimes it’s brutal.”

“I realize that. I do,” she said quickly, wetting her lips. “The video isn’t the reason I’m declining the job. It was more of... of a prompt. For me to take a step back and examine my choices. Sometimes I make really impulsive decisions and regret them later. Like now.”

“What kinds of impulsive decisions do you make?”

“Ordering a peanut butter and espresso smoothie on an empty stomach, for instance.”

Burgess couldn’t hide his incredulity. “Jesus Christ, you ordered that? I thought it was on the menu as a joke.”

“It should be,” she breathed, feeling her forehead with the back of her wrist. “I feel like I’m leaning up against an electrified fence.”

He hummed. “Caffeine jitters.”

She looked around. “Is everything supposed to be glowing?”

A low laugh made its way free of his throat, a bit like an engine chug. The rusted sound caused her to look up, making eye contact. And they stayed that way for several seconds, hers curious, his rueful. Just this once, why couldn’t he have kept his fucking elbow to himself? “I wouldn’t have pegged someone who studied penguins in Antarctica for a year as impulsive,” Burgess said, knowing it was pathetic to try and prolong his time with her, but he couldn’t help it. “I’d call it adventurous.”

“You’d be surprised,” she responded.

“Would I? Try me.”

She tapped a finger to her lips, as if deciding whether or not she should cut their talk short and leave. Or stay and brighten his afternoon a little bit longer. “I do love an adventure. In theory, anyway. I used to love trying new things,” she started slowly. “But in the case of Antarctica, I was playing it safe. Living in an isolated research center in the cold, where I feel most at home. Seeing the same five faces every day. The familiar repetition of research. Documenting.” She paused, looking down at the table. “Before that, I lived on a boat for six months, interning on a coral reef conservation initiative in Mexico. Seychelles prior to that. If anything, I’ve been hiding.”

Knowing his voice would sound unnatural if he spoke right away, he swallowed hard twice before asking, “From what?”

“I think I should go.”

Burgess forced himself to accept her choice with a stiff nod. “Is there anything I can do to change your mind about taking the job, Tallulah?”

“No.” She pressed her mouth into a straight line. “Again, I’msorry to do this on short notice. But like I said, I’ll help you find a replacement.”

Burgess chose to ignore that offer for now. He’d handle one problem at a time. “What is your plan from here?”

“Get a hotel room for the night. Go visit some apartment share listings tomorrow.”

Instantly, he was not a fan of the plan. Too much shit left to chance.

Burgess didn’t have any say in what Tallulah did. None whatsoever. She was a grown-up who obviously had no problem safeguarding herself. Unfortunately, there was a protective hum in his chest that grew louder the longer he looked at her. Tallulah was the best friend of his best friend’s future wife, right? An argument could be made that he was looking out for her safety.

As a favor.

Sure.

He’d lived in Boston for fifteen years and knew it better than anyone. And the idea of her settling for a place to live that was even one iota less safe than The Beacon wasn’t sitting well with him. At all. But he thought of his daughter. How he would want Lissa to be treated when she grew up and struck out on her own, vulnerable to the world. He definitely wouldn’t want some burned-out hockey player elbowing his way into her life as some kind of protector. Not unless she asked for it first.

Imagine this beautiful woman asking you to be her protector.

Burgess swallowed hard. “What is your ideal living situation?”

She seemed surprised by his question. “Um... well. In a perfect world, I’d be living with Josephine, but your grumpy golfer friend went and stole her out from under me.” His lips twitched at that. “Considering that’s not an option, I’ll look for another female student who is renting a room in a neighborhood thathas good transit options. Being that it’s already late September, I might have some trouble locking down a decent place, but I usually have good luck with these sorts of things.”

“Do you have a budget?”

“It’s not exactly fat, because I’ve been interning for minimal cash. But I can float seven hundred a month for a room. For a while. Then I’ll need to find some lab assistant work in the near future to replenish my funds.”

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