Page 98 of The Au Pair Affair

Even expecting to hear the word “surgery,” the reality winded her. “What happened?”

The trainer sighed heavily. “Slipped disc. He’s having an artificial one put in. I’d like to say he’ll be out for the rest of the season, but given how long he’s been in the league and how tricky recovery can be, not to mention sustaining that recovery...” He looked at the door. “I don’t know if we’ll see him out on the ice again.”

Denial raced through her bloodstream, accompanied by fear. But above all, she had confidence. In Burgess. “If he decides to get back out there, he will.”

A quick flash of a smile. “You know him well.”

Damp heat crowded in behind her eyes. “Yes. I do.”

He studied her for a moment. “He’s such a private person, I couldn’t believe it when he asked me to bring his sweatshirt to hisgirlfriend.” The trainer chuckled. “I asked him where you weresitting and he said, just ‘look for the most beautiful woman in the place.’”

“Oh,” she said, her voice sounding watery. “If you don’t mind, I need to see him.”

“Of course.” The trainer hesitated, looking between Tallulah and the door. “Look, he’s obviously not himself right now. Maybe... just be prepared.”

With that dire warning ringing in her head, Tallulah pushed open the hospital room door and closed it behind her, eyes adjusting to the startling lack of light. Normally the cold comforted her, but just then, it only caused goose bumps to streak up her arms, her nerves to multiply. Burgess didn’t even look at her when she stopped beside his bed—and he was wide awake. As large and commanding and extraordinary as usual, only now he was wearing a hospital gown that probably proclaimed the opposite, in his mind.

Ten seconds ticked by and still he didn’t turn his head, a line leaping in his jaw.

This is bad.

This is so much worse than I was expecting.

Fine. She could handle it. He’d just lost the most treasured part of his life. His anger was understandable. She wouldn’t let it beat her. Him. Them.

“Are you just going to pretend I’m not here?”

“You shouldn’t have come,” he snapped, turning hard, glittering eyes on her. Unrecognizable eyes. “There’s nothing you or anyone can do. Go back to Boston.”

Stones struck her breast, one by one, but she didn’t allow the impact to show on her face. He’d never spoken to her so coldly. Not ever.This isn’t him.“I’m sorry this happened. I’m sorry.” She reached for his hand, slipping their fingers together. For the briefest of seconds, his grip tightened, eyes closing, nostrils flaring, but then he abruptly let go.

“I told you this would happen, Tallulah. Once I got medicine and doctors and trainers involved, instead of toughing it out on my own, like I always have, that there would be a domino effect. That those things wouldruinme.” His tone was harsh, so harsh, and it cut into her like a scalpel. “But you knew better, didn’t you?”

Stay strong.“You’re hurting and taking it out on me, but that’s fine. Go ahead.”

“Yeah, you’re real tough now.” He looked at the wall, not her, his right hand fisting in the sheet, like speaking was costing him an effort. Or maybe it was the words themselves. “Wasn’t it just a few days ago you walked away because a twelve-year-old was mad at you?”

How long had she been inside this hospital room? Two minutes and she already felt punched full of holes. What kind of pain would ten more minutes bring? “I did what I thought was best. I still think I made the right decision.”

“Good for you, gorgeous. The right decision is tostayaway.” He flicked a look at the door. “Go. Please. Go.”

“Why?”

“Because I fucking hate you seeing me like this,” he growled. “Get out.”

“No.”

The hurt was only going to escalate until she gave up and left. Maybe... she should go and come back later? Once he’d had a chance to digest the present and future? Maybe she’d come at too raw of a time? Maybe all that could be accomplished tonight was saying words he couldn’t take back and she should leave before that happened—

“Did you think you would fly here and say something inspirational to make all the difference? That’s not happening.” His throat worked with a swallow. “I’m done with hockey and we both know it, Tallulah. It has never been more pathetically obvious that you’re too young for me. If you think I’m going to have my college student girlfriend help me walk again after this surgery, you’re dead wrong. I would have rather died out on the ice.”

“Do you think my impression of you... or my belief in you has changed, because you’re hurt? That’s ridiculous. People get hurt.”

“I don’t. I’m not supposed to,” he shouted. “I can’t evenlookat you when I’m like this. I’m fuckingbeggingyou to leave.”

“No.”

His upper lip curled, cogs turning behind his bloodshot eyes and she could see it, the death blow was coming. Her feet stuck to the ground like cement, an almost morbid curiosity toward what he could cook up to make her go keeping her in place.

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