Page 26 of An Archer's Redemption

All my life, I wanted to be taken seriously, to be seen as a competent, intelligent woman who would rule with wisdom. I couldn’t admit it at the time, but the derision—even pity—I’d seen in the Councilors’ eyes months earlier had stabbed at my heart.

But not now.

They actuallylistenedto me.

I tried to remember the endless lessons of my father, allowing the Ministers to talk themselves to exhaustion before weighing in. He told me many times that educated men needed to maketheir point long before they would ever hear ours. To act otherwise was fruitless.

I grinned inwardly every time the conversation would lull. I spoke only then. All eyes snapped to the head of the table, as if mine was the most important voice in the room.

And then it sank in.

Minewasthe most important voice in the room. I wasQueen.

Events had moved so quickly since I returned that I barely had time to absorb the weight of the Crown I’d inherited. I felt it now. Its burdensome load. Its expectations. The millions of people it represented. Alone in a dim hallway, the immense responsibility that rested on my seventeen-year-old shoulders bore down. I feared I might crumble beneath its weight.

My skin turned clammy, and my heart raced.

I clawed at the choker strangling my neck, gasping, but air wouldn’t flow.

Sweat beaded on my brow.

Desperate to gather myself, I slipped into the first room I saw. As I closed the heavy wooden door behind me, I turned and found myself staring at Justin’s bed. My mother had barred servants from cleaning her children’s rooms to teach us responsibility, and several pairs of riding leathers still lay strewn about, as if he struggled to decide what to pack before leaving on the trip east with the army.

The trip to findmeafter I ran away.

My heart seized. Tears streamed down my cheeks. The scent of my younger brother flooded my senses.

I saw his lopsided grin, his perfectly coiffed hair that screamed for fingers to muss it.

I missed him so much.

“Little brother, what have I done? How am I going to get through all this without you?” I whispered. “So many people are counting on me now. I’m . . . so alone.”

I hugged myself, clutching my sides as tears fell.

Long moments passed before I wandered aimlessly around the room. I raised a white linen shirt to my nose, breathing in Justin’s scent, then clutched the garment to my heart. My fingers trailed across his desk as I found notes from his studies covered in random scribbles and tidbits he aimed to remember. The script adorning those pages had somehow become precious in his absence.

I reached to open an armoire, but a knock at the door interrupted.

“Jess? Are you in there, Jess?” the voice of my other brother—myonlybrother—floated through the door.

I sniffed and wiped my face with Justin’s shirt before realizing what I’d done, then clutched it to my chest once more.

“Yes.” I sucked in a calming breath. “Come in.”

Kendall pushed the door open, then bolted across the room and wrapped his spindly arms around me. “I missed you, Jessie. I’m glad you’re home.”

“Me too,” was all I could say as I fought another wave of emotion.

A moment later, Kendall looked up and asked, “When do you think Mom, Dad, and Justin will get back? They’ve been gone a long time.”

My voice caught as I realized no one had told the boy anything.

I pulled away from his hug and took his hand, leading him to sit on the bed beside me.

“Kendall,” I began, grasping for the words. “I . . . I need to tell you some things. They are going to be really hard, so I need you to be brave, okay?”

Kendall’s wide eyes, now tinged with fear, bobbed along with his head.

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