Page 41 of In Full Bloom

Aurora wanders over to me once I’m far enough away from Dallas. I hear him sigh, then the crunch of gravel under his boots as he strides back across to the storage shed where he begins unloading the ute.

After yesterday’sargument with Dallas that had him kissing me before I stormed off like a petulant teenager, I didn’t see him again for the rest of the afternoon.

It’s not unusual. I was already trying hard to stay out of his way.

We’ve blurred so many lines that creating distance between us seems like the best course of action.

When I propositioned Dallas last week I’d been exhausted from the emotional upheaval of seeing Max, of seeing Flynn, and from bawling my eyes out over Toby.

That’s why I’d tried to kiss Dallas. Nothing else. I just lost my marbles for a bit there.

So I’ve stayed away from him all week. Now though, I don’t know what he’s asking of me, especially after what happened in that moment yesterday when he his lips came down on mine.

When I arrived at the main farm house for dinner last night, I realised my luck in avoiding him had run out when I saw his boots by the door.

We survived the meal without drama though, and Dallas left early when Sadie started to droop, her first week of school obviously catching up with her.

I spent the evening sitting on the back porch of the house with Olivia, a bottle of wine between us.

It was the perfect night.

This morning is not so great.

I slept in Willow’s room, not wanting to drive back to town after drinking, and when I enter the kitchen, I find Violet standing over the sink filling lamb bottles. Sadie is on the porch, pulling her boots on. I’ve clearly overslept.

“Oh, hey Katie,” Violet says when I step up beside her.

I can tell immediately that something is off. I take her in, the rough ponytail, the rumpled clothes, the red eyes that are far too glassy.

“Here,” I say, taking the milk jug from her. “Sadie and I will take care of the lambs, then I’ll take her with me for a couple of hours.”

“Oh, no, Katie, it’s fine.” Her voice wobbles though and I know it’s not okay. I wrack my brain for the date and try to remember if it has any special significance. I can’t recall anything, but I know from my own experience that the grief plays on its own schedule.

“Vi, it’s okay. You deserve a little break. I don’t mind hanging out with Lady Sadie. Don’t worry about it.”

She smiles at me, one that reminds me so much of my grandma. It tugs at my heart. “Thank you, Katie. We’re so lucky you’re home.”

That statement tugs at my heart too, but in a totally different way.

I turn back to the lamb bottles as Violet makes herself a coffee, then I head outside where Sadie is waiting, surrounded by a small flock of orphaned lambs. She loves feeding them every day and she’s named every one of them. We had to spend a significant amount of time convincing her we are capable of taking over feeding duties while she’s at school.

Once the lambs are taken care of, Sadie and I head down the driveway. She reaches up and wraps her small fingers around mine.

My heart isn’t ready for it. Not today.

With being confronted by Violet’s grief and Sadie’s joy, my own emotions are all over the place.

“Can I trust you to stay right here while I work with Aurora?” I ask Sadie, leading her up onto a platform that overlooks the yard where Aurora is.

Sadie nods solemnly. “I promise,” she says. “And I’ll be super quiet and not move so I don’t scare her.”

I reach out and tug at one of her pigtails. “Good job.”

I climb over the railings and drop lightly to the dirt. Aurora is on the other side of the yard, munching on the hay Olivia must have given her this morning. When she sees me she nickers and immediately heads in my direction.

I grin. The joy of seeing the horse beginning to trust me overriding the already emotional morning I’ve had.

I clip the lead rope onto her halter and give her neck a solid rub. Aurora nuzzles into me. We walk a few laps of the yard, with Aurora keeping pace beside me. It feels like she’d follow me anywhere. On our third lap I glance up and see Sadie staring at us over the top rail, her eyes wide with awe. I stop beside where she’s watching.

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