Page 43 of In Full Bloom

I sigh. Whatever. I let myself back into the yard and approach the horse. She nickers at me again, and gently butts me with her head.

“Come on, sweet girl. Who needs him anyway?”

20

DALLAS

Damn it all to hell.This woman is going to be the death of me.

Yesterday I was kissing her and nearly begging her to let me help her make new memories, ones worth sticking around for.

Today, I’m snapping at her and telling her off.

I can’t help myself when it comes to Sadie and those horses. I saw her there in the yard, so close to that horse and my brain shut down. My heart rate spiked, adrenaline shot through me and all I could see were broken bones and bruises and my life imploding.

No doubt Katie’s back to thinking I’m a raging asshole.

First for leaving Sadie with Violet today, when she’s struggling with her grief, then for losing my shit over Sadie being near a horse.

I know Katie would never intentionally put Sadie in danger, and would do everything to protect her if something went wrong. I know she loves her and doesn’t want any harm to cometo her. But sometimes, all the love in the world isn’t enough to stop someone getting hurt.

And I can’t go through that kind of terror and pain again.

Even with the image of Sadie leaning on the railing, talking down to the mare in a soft, calming voice, just like the one Katie uses, playing in a loop in my mind.

I’m banging around in the shed, getting organised for planting all the native trees and shrubs on Monday while Sadie sits on the tailgate of the ute watching me.

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” she says, as I toss a spade onto the trailer, making it crash against the steel side. She flinches at the noise and I hate myself a little more, but she reaches out one of her tiny hands for me, so I step in closer. “Please don’t be angry at Katie.”

I sigh as she wraps her arms around my waist and rests her head against my chest. “I’m not angry with Katie, or you,” I say. “I’m sorry I reacted like that. I got scared.”

“Why?” she asks, bright blue eyes identical to my own peering up at me.

“Because sometimes horses can be scary or dangerous,” I say.

“Flynn said Aurora is more scared of us than we are of her.”

“He’s probably right about everyone but me. I’m probably more scared of her than she is of anyone else here.”

“Katie could teach you how not to be scared, like she’s teaching Aurora.” Sadie says the words, then nestles her face back into my chest, hugging me tightly.

Images assault my brain.

Ones of Katie teaching me not to be scared of horses, of her gentle hands tracing over my skin, her voice soft in my ear.

Then visions of me teaching Katie not to be scared of the life she could have here. A life she could have with me.

But for that to ever become a possibility, I need to learn some things too, and one of them is going to have to be to let go a little.

“You can watch Katie from the platform,” I say, my voice gruff. “Don’t go in the yard, and be careful you don’t spook the horse.”

Sadie breaks away from our hug and looks up at me, excitement already in her eyes. “I can?”

“You can.” I nod.

“Thank you, Daddy.” She gives me another tight squeeze before leaping off the ute tailgate and bounding from the shed.

“I’ll apologise to Katie after she’s done,” I murmur, but Sadie is long gone. I can see her across the driveway, slowly climbing back onto the platform, watching carefully that she isn’t spooking the horse.

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