Page 60 of In Full Bloom

Olivia blinks a few times, then shoots her best friend a look. Katie scuffs a boot in the gravel. “Are you sure?” Olivia asks after what feels like an eternity of silence.

“Yeah. She wants to be around the horses all the time. It’s not fair for my fears to stop her. She needs to learn how to be safe around them. So do I.”

Olivia shoots another look in Katie’s direction, then back at me. “Okay. She’s only allowed near them when an adult is with her though. You, Katie, Me, Mum or Flynn.”

“Absolutely,” I say.

“I’m ready,” Sadie says, interrupting our conversation. She clomps down the steps in her tiny boots. As expected, she’s clutching a handful of Violet’s chocolate chip cookies. She hands one to me and one to Katie, then looks up at Olivia and down at the single cookie left in her hand. After a moment she holds it up to Olivia.

“It’s alright kiddo, I’ll go steal my own.” Olivia winks. “Have fun you three,” she says as she turns and disappears back into the house.

Katie spins on her heel. “Let’s go, Lady Sadie,” she says through a mouthful of cookie and Sadie giggles, then skips along beside her.

My gaze bounces between them—my girls—walking away, and back to the house where Olivia has disappeared. Something about the way she winked at us and her parting words … she knows. Somehow, she knows, even though Katie and I barely know.

“You coming, cowboy?” Katie calls over her shoulder and I shove the thought away. I catch up to the girls when they reach the gate to the house paddock. Scout is already heading in our direction.

“Violet said Scout can have this,” Sadie says, pulling a carrot from her pocket. “Can she?”

“She sure can,” Katie assures Sadie, and when Sadie holds it out for Katie to take, she pauses. “Would you like to feed it to her?” She’s asking my daughter but she immediately meets my eyes over Sadie’s head. She’s already worried she’s overstepped.

Sadie glances at me, then slowly nods when I don’t bring this whole thing to a screeching halt. Katie takes the carrot and snaps it in half, then shows Sadie how to hold it on her flat palm so Scout can take it off her hand without also taking any of her fingers.

Scout stands patiently at the fence, watching the carrot carefully, until Sadie climbs up on the gate and holds her hand out, exactly the way Katie showed her. She giggles as Scouts lips brush against her palm and she beams at us when the horse is busy crunching away.

“Now, your turn,” Katie says, holding out the other half of the carrot … to me. There’s a spark of challenge in her eyes, but as I slowly reach out and take the carrot from her, the challenge softens into reassurance. Our fingers brush as I take the vegetable from her and she catches mine under hers, giving them the briefest squeeze. If I hadn’t felt the jolt of electricity that tiny gesture sent straight through my chest, I would have struggled to believe she’d done it, as quick as it’d been.

I step up to the gate beside Sadie and lay the carrot on mypalm. I try to extend it to the horse, who’s waiting patiently, letting Sadie stroke her nose right between her nostrils.

My hand shakes, and the carrot falls. I slam my eyes shut in frustration. My five-year-old could do this without any kind of fear. She didn’t even hesitate, but for me, just being near this horse, even on the other side of the gate has my pulse racing.

“Here,” Katie says quietly in my ear. She presses the carrot back into my hand, then helps me extend my fingers so they’re flat. “You good?” she whispers, her fingers still encircling my wrist.

I focus on the feel of her skin and how good she smells, still fresh from her shower, and my heart rate settles—slightly. I give an unsteady nod and expect Katie to release my arm, but she doesn’t. She keeps her fingertips pressed into my skin as I offer the carrot to Scout again. My hand shakes again, but Katie steadies it and the carrot doesn’t fall. Instead Scout gently picks it up, brushing her big soft lips over my palm, and crunches into it, the look in her eye blissful.

The breath leaves me in a whoosh as I realise I did it, without losing a finger, or my nerve. Katie squeezes my wrist, then lets me go.

“Well done,” she says.

“Are you mocking me?”

She turns to face me, so I can see her face. There isn’t a trace of mockery or teasing on it. “No,” she says, her voice is soft. “I know what it’s like to be terrified of something. Now I know why … well, I’m sorry I ever teased you about this.” She chews her lip and I have to resist the urge to reach up and free that full lush bottom lip from her teeth with a brush of my thumb.

I clear my throat. “What’s next?”

“How about we go give Scout a little bath?”

“A bath?” Sadie gasps. “Do you have one big enough for her?”

Katie manages to hold in the laugh I know she desperately wants to let loose. I know, because I’m doing the same thing.

“No, Lady Sadie. When Scout has a bath, she doesn’t get in a bathtub like we do …” I tune out as Katie explains how horses have baths. My brain is instantly assaulted by images of Katie in a bath, bubbles piled high around her as she lies back in the steamy water. It seems like something she’d like, but as I recall her bathroom, I realise she doesn’t have one. A few comments she’s made at the end of long days or dinners at the main house come to mind and I realise she’s been using Olivia’s bath.

Suddenly, the image of Katie relaxing back in an anonymous bath is replaced by one of Katie inmybath. I’ve got to arrange that … sooner rather than later.

For now, I shove the thought away before I embarrass myself. I tune back into the conversation Katie and Sadie are having, now about how to safely lead a horse. I should be paying attention.

“The most important thing,” Katie is saying, “is never, ever, wrap the rope around your hand. If she got a fright and tried to pull away, and the rope is around your hand, you can get really hurt, so we never want to do that, okay?”

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