Page 44 of Wild Love

When I stood, Marigold hugged me. "I'm so happy you did the class, and I hope you're not going to run in the other direction now."

I attempted to smile but couldn't quite pull it off. "I can't make any promises."

Marigold's sympathetic face would be my undoing. "I know it wasn't your first choice."

"It was good." I edged away from the circulation desk, needing space from the expectations. The weight was heavy on my shoulders. Everyone wanted me to teach more classes. But what if I didn't make a difference in anyone's life? What if they didn't learn anything? What if everyone grew to hate me?

I turned and walked quickly through the library, not daring to look up. I didn't want to meet anyone's eyes and chance someone else asking me for something. I was used to being a loner. I didn't owe anyone anything, except for my boss and my fellow castmates.

Here, people wanted something from me, and I wasn't sure I could deliver. My track record wasn't the best for staying in one place. What would happen if I got the itch to leave? I'd ruin everything. It was easier not to give anyone the expectation that I was sticking around.

Instead of heading home, I drove around, not really seeing the grandeur of the mountain range. Eventually, I parked at an overlook, trying not to think about what everyone wanted from me. I couldn't give it. It would be too much.

The sun set before I realized I'd been sitting in the dark, and I was chilled. I turned on the car and drove slowly to the lodge.

The what-ifs were flirting with the edge of my conscience.What if I did a certain number of classes, and I stuck around for a few months? I loved my new place. I enjoyed spending time with Eli and seeing Marigold again.

It was nice to stop by my parents' just to see how they were. Although I felt the weight of expectation with every one of those people, except for Eli.

He didn't expect anything from me, and maybe that's why I felt so comfortable around him.

At home, I curled up on the rooftop deck with a blanket. I turned on the heater kept the lights off. I didn’t want Eli to know I was out here. I wanted to be alone.

I wasn't sure what I should do with my life. And I didn't think I could make any decisions until I did. The pressure was immense, and it seemed like I might be crushed under the weight.

11

ELI

Scarlett was impressive with those kids. You could see her passion for acting come through, and she passed that same energy onto the kids. She encouraged them to come out of their shell and give their best performances.

I hadn't seen Scarlett much after her class. I wondered if she was still planning to leave or if she was considering staying for a while longer.

I had the expansion to plan, but it felt meaningless at the moment. What was I striving for? More money? More success? It felt flat to me.

The only bright spot was Scarlett, and I didn't want to explore that too closely. Then I'd have to admit that I liked my best friend's sister. And I didn't want to deal with that complication. I liked when I forgot about the details and enjoyed my time with her.

But this Saturday, she'd promised to go on our second adventure: rock climbing. I found a lower elevation that didn't have any snow and would be ideal for a beginner. I purchased the equipment we'd need for her and packed a picnic lunch.

I'd sent her flowers and breakfast the morning of her class. Icould say I was doing something nice for a friend or fulfilling my promise to look out for her, but it was more than that. I felt like this was a seduction.

Did Scarlett see what I was doing? Or had she already written me off as her brother's friend?

It was reckless, but I hadn't felt so alive in years. Not even going on these excursions made me feel as energized as being with Scarlett and watching her do something new for the first time.

During the week, we’d texted about me picking her up for rock climbing, but otherwise, she hadn't started any conversations. I tried not to let that worry me. She was still living here; I'd heard her door opening and closing. But I hadn't seen her hanging around the common areas like the bar or restaurants. I'd been outside working on the expansion.

On Saturday morning, I knocked on her door bright and early. I came armed with coffee and pastries from a local shop.

When the door opened, Scarlett's eyes were sleepy, and her hair was pulled back in a ponytail. She wore leggings, a hooded sweatshirt, and boots.

"Good morning." I lifted the bag of pastries and the tray of coffees, and Scarlett's eyes brightened. She grabbed them from me, spun, and headed toward the kitchen island.

I gestured toward the door. "I was hoping we could eat in the car."

Scarlett sipped the coffee while she pulled a pastry out of the bag. "I can do that."

"Are you ready to go?"

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