Page 94 of Wild Love

It was a routine I went through all the time. But it felt more final somehow. By my next visit, everyone would have moved on.

Marigold might have found someone she could be in a relationship with. Eli would be working with a new theater director. He might even be living with a woman in his new house.

My parents and my brother had already written me off. They didn't even pressure me to come back for the holidays. They assumed I'd be busy with the new production and told me not to worry about it.

I sat at my gate, wondering what had changed. I kept coming back to Eli. He was the difference. He was the one who showed me how amazing Telluride was and that I fit in. I always had. I was just too busy running away to connect with anyone.

I loved Eli, and I wanted more for myself than motels in a new town every few months. New lines to memorize. New cast mates to get to know. More bars to hang out in. It was a lonely, empty life. Why had I ever thought my life was full? I couldn't drum up any excitement for my future in Tennessee.

The announcer came over the loudspeaker to say my flight was on time. I let out a breath. This was the life I'd chosen. I wanted to travel around and act. But I couldn't deny the satisfaction and joy I got from teaching those kids.

They'd grow up without me to guide them. I was suresomeone else would love them as equally as I did. But I didn't want someone else directing the kids' plays in Telluride. I wanted to be the one.

What had I done? I'd already committed to being in Tennessee. I didn't have a choice. I had to fulfill my commitment. Maybe when this play was done, I'd figure out what to do about my life in Telluride.

22

ELI

At some point, Scarlett had slipped away from her own going-away party last night. It took everything in me to stay and go to the bar with my friends and family. I wanted to go back to the lodge where I knew I'd find Scarlett on the rooftop.

I wanted to beg her not to leave. But Marigold told me that would be the worst thing I could do.

According to her, our plan was working. She said Scarlett looked devastated at the airport. She pulled away from the curb with Scarlett still standing there, looking lost.

I didn't want Scarlett to think she wasn't wanted. I wanted her to know how much she meant to everyone, including me. But I wasn't sure she was ready to hear it. Marigold was convinced Scarlett needed to go back to her old life and experience it one more time. Then it would be clear to her that it wasn't the right place.

It was a huge gamble because that had never worked before. Chance said she didn't keep in touch any time she'd left before. Why would this trip be different?

We'd agreed to meet at the diner after Marigold returned from dropping Scarlett off at the airport.

I clenched my hands, wanting to get in my SUV and head to the airport. But it wasn't the right play.

"I hope you know what you're doing," Chance mumbled.

Marigold's smile fell from her face. She wasn't confident we were doing the right thing either. Somehow that made everything worse. The only thing that got me through the last few days was Marigold's confidence.

If she wasn't sure, then this might be it. I might actually have to move on from Scarlett. It was unthinkable.

"It's going to work. She'll go to Tennessee and realize how empty her life is. I told her we were planning to interview for a new theater director."

"But we're not." I hadn't even decided what to do with the theater. It wouldn't be the same without Scarlett.

Marigold frowned. "She doesn't have to know that."

Chance's forehead creased. "Isn't that just going to push her away even more?"

I had the same thought.

"When we ask her to stay, it prompts her flight mode. This time we're doing the opposite." Except Marigold sounded like she was trying to convince herself too.

Our food sat in front of us, untouched.

Last night, I stayed with Chance, not trusting myself to go home to my penthouse. I know I'd go to the rooftop or knock on Scarlett's door. I couldn't resist her, and I needed to follow Marigold's plan.

"My parents told her not to worry about coming home for Christmas. They understood she'd be busy," Chance said.

I shook my head. "I'm shocked they went along with the plan."

---