Page 35 of Eagle

It should have been Jillian.

Truth is, I’d never felt the same kind of inexplainable pull towards Jillian that had gripped me the first time I’d laid eyes on Leo. Why was I only now noticing that, over the months, my feelings for Jillian had dimmed? Had I been fooling myself all this time? It wasn’t the first time I’d questioned why I hadn’t made a play for Jillian yet. It had almost been a year since I’d first made my intentions known to my brothers, right after Wolfe and Ella had gotten together.

I’d been so convinced that I wanted her.

I entered the bar, my gaze immediately searching out Jillian at the table where we’d been sitting earlier. She wasn’t there now, but it didn’t take me long to find her dancing with Mac. I watched them for a minute, not the least bit pissed that he had his hands on her and that she appeared carefree and enjoying herself with him. Bear and Val moved in front of them, blocking my view, and it was then that I noticed that Leo was on the dance floor, losing herself against Knuckles as she let herself go to the beat of the music.

The fuck? I took a step toward them and halted. No! I pushed down the anger I was feeling in response to seeing Leo and Knuckles looking all cozy together and stormed to the kitchen. I couldn’t get the sight of them clinging to each other out of my head as I began to pull random shit out of the fridge and slam them down on the counter. I was looking for something, but I didn’t know what. I was fucking confused over my feelings, and I didn’t know how to cope.

I stopped for a minute and took in the items that I’d removed from the fridge—pickles, beets, eggs, and mustard, and if that weren’t bad enough, I’d slammed the beets down so hard that I’d cracked the glass. Bright purple beet juice was seeping out all over the counter. Swearing beneath my breath, I rushed to the sink where the paper towels were kept, grabbed a handful, and went back to clean up my mess.

“What are you doing?”

I didn’t need to look up to know that it was Jillian’s voice. I carefully picked up the jar of beets and put the handful of paper towels beneath it and turned toward the garbage can. “Had a little accident.”

“I see that.” There was a little amusement in her tone. She walked further into the room. “Need any help?”

I shook my head and dropped the jar into the trashcan.

“Are you hungry? I can fix you something to eat.”

Frustrated over what I’d just learned about myself, I let it show in my voice. “Jillian—” I halted abruptly, unsure of what else I wanted to say. I met her watchful eyes. There was kindness in them, along with something else. Regret?

She took a breath and surprised me by saying, “You don’t want me, Eagle.”

The fuck? My brows shot up, but I remained quiet, suspecting that she had more to say.

“Not really.”

I was momentarily stunned into silence. I’d never come right out and told her that I was interested in her. “And you know that how?” When I found out which one of my brothers had been talking, I was going to knock his teeth down his throat. “Who’s been talking?”

She shook her head. “No one, I swear. I’m a woman. I’ve seen the looks, I’ve noticed how attentive you’ve been. It took me a long time to figure out that you might be into me. I was confused because you never made a move for anything more.” Her soft laugh echoed through the kitchen. “I’ve seen how your brothers are when it comes to getting something they want. They just take it.”

I frowned, not willing to admit that she was right. “Maybe I was being considerate. Giving you time to get your life in order. I know you’ve had it hard since your mom was disabled in that accident. Holding down two jobs, taking classes. Then remodeling your house so it would accommodate a wheelchair.” Excuses. They all sounded like fucking excuses.

Jillian laughed quietly, her pretty eyes bright as new copper pennies. I felt something for her at that moment, but it wasn’t the kind of feeling that I’d been looking for. Shit. When had my feelings turned into those of friendship?

“I can prove it to you.” She moved closer to me.

Now I was the one amused and intrigued. I opened my mouth to tell her not to bother, that the fucking lightbulb had already gone off in my head. But I was curious about what she had in mind. “Oh yeah? How do you plan to do that?”

“Kiss me.”

Now that I hadn’t been expecting. My gaze dropped to her mouth. It was a pretty mouth, covered in the light pink gloss that she favored. Another pair of lips instantly came to mind, ones that I’d devoured less than an hour ago, leaving them swollen and wet from my kiss. “How’s that going to prove I don’t want you?”

“You’ll see.” She was suddenly in front of me. “Now kiss me.”

Well, since she’d given me no choice... I’d thought about kissing Jillian before, but now that I realized the truth about how I really felt about her it didn’t seem important. But I also didn’t want to hurt her feelings, since she was determined to prove something to me.

I gently grabbed her against me and brought my mouth down on hers, very different from the way I’d attacked Leo’s mouth. The instant spark that ignited in my gut died out quickly, but I kept my lips on hers and gave it my all. Jillian kept her mouth closed against my tongue, but that was all right. Though I liked tongue, I didn’t need it to turn a kiss into a hot inferno. I let my hands travel down her back to her hips, waiting for other feelings to take over, but they never came. When I found myself thinking about Leo and how wild she’d been in my arms, I pulled back.

“Fuck.” That kiss had just confirmed what I’d already figured out.

A big smile spread across Jillian’s face as she stood staring up at me, her cheeks a little flushed.

“Fuck,” I swore again.

“Are we interrupting?” a female voice asked.

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