Page 36 of Eagle

Jillian and I turned at the same time to see Mac and Leo standing in the doorway. Mac looked downright pissed, his gaze narrowing on Jillian accusingly. Leo’s expression gave nothing away, but there was a flicker of emotion in her eyes that she couldn’t disguise. If I hadn’t known better, I’d have sworn it was hurt.

“Mac—"

He ignored Jillian. “We’ll leave you to it then.” He turned to leave, and Leo wordlessly followed.

“Fuck.”

“You’ve said that three times now,” Jillian smiled, drawing my attention back to her. She looked regretful. “Now do you understand?”

I snorted. “Yeah. No spark.” I shook my head with resignation. “It was a nice kiss, though.” We both knew it had been lacking. “Would have been nice if I’d kissed you months ago and discovered my infatuation was weak at best. Wouldn’t have wasted so much fucking time.”

“I have an idea about that.”

“Oh yeah?”

She nodded. “You were protecting yourself. I know about your history with Mandy.”

I frowned, not liking where this was going.

Any time Mandy’s name came up, it put me in a foul mood. She was an ex who’d caused me a lot of trouble and a lot of money a few years back. To make matters worse, after I’d dumped her ass, she had continued to show up in my life whenever she wanted, usually after she’d been drinking. Because of our history—hell, I’d almost married her—I’d had a weakness for her, and we’d usually ended up in bed.

I was interested in hearing Jillian’s theory, and crossed my arms encouraging her to continue. “Go on.”

“Mandy hurt you badly and you decided that you weren’t going to let that happen again. So to prevent another woman from getting close to you, you latched on to the idea of us becoming a couple. I think you subconsciously used me as a safety net. You never made a move on me, Eagle,” she pointed out not for the first time. “I think you knew the truth deep down and didn’t make a move on me because you knew you would have to accept the truth.”

A lot of what Jillian said rang true. “Are you saying I’m afraid of women?”

“I would never accuse a Soldier of being afraid.” Her lips quivered as she tried to hold back her smile.

Smart woman. “That’s an interesting notion. Why are you telling me all this now?”

She wet her lips, and I could tell that she was building up her courage. “Because I’m interested in someone. And...”

Don’t say it, I thought to myself.

“I think you’re interested in someone, too.”

Shit.

Jillian was right. Only I didn’t want to be interested in Leo in that way. Jesus. Mandy had really screwed with my head if I’d gone to this much trouble to avoid relationships. Why the hell couldn’t I have just put up a fucking wall around my heart like other fuckers did? It would have been a lot easier.

I wanted to ask Jillian who she was interested in, but I had a suspicion about who he was. I’d caught her eyeing Mac when she thought no one was looking, and judging from his reaction when he’d caught us kissing, it was clear that he had a thing for her too. Had there been signs before that I’d just ignored? Mac wouldn’t have pursued her because, in his eyes, she was off limits. There was a code among brothers, and he wouldn’t have crossed that line if he’d thought that I wanted Jillian for myself.

Jesus, I suddenly felt like a selfish prick.

Jillian’s light touch brought me back to the present. “Friends?” There was hope in her tone, and I recognized her vulnerability.

My answer was important to her. “Always.”

Her smile widened, and the relief was evident in her eyes.

“Now go have fun while I put this shit back.”

After she’d disappeared, Bear stuck his head through the doorway. I could tell by his expression that something was up.

“Just got wind there’s a dog fight over in Arrowsic.”

“That’s fucking close, Brother.” It was about five miles away. “Where?” I hurried from the kitchen and followed Bear to the door.

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