Page 38 of Glamour and Grit

“Excuse me, Sir, but what are you doing on set?”

“He’s my boy…uh…guard. Boyguard, that is, my bodyguard.”

Roberta snorts. “I don’t care if he’s the friggin’ pope. He’s annoying my talent, and the last thing I need is a visit from their union rep. Give him something to do so he stays out of the way. Otherwise he’s outta here.”

“Something to do? Like what?” I ask.

Roberta scrutinizes Dane. “I dunno, make him a zombie or something. Preferably one that can’t talk.”

I take Dane’s massive, tattooed arm. “Come on, big guy. You heard the woman.”

“No way. How am I supposed to do my job wearing a bunch of makeup and prosthetics?”

I give him the stink eye. “How can you do your job if they eject you from the studio lot? Besides, you’ll be the perfect bodyguard, disguised as one of the extras. No one will suspect you until it’s too late.”

Dane eyes me dubiously, but he nods his assent.

“What are you going to do to me?”

“Just wait until I have you in my clutches, and you’ll find out. Mwah ha ha.”

He gives me a look that says he can’t tell if I’m joking or not. Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.

I guess we’ll find out.

12

DANE

Like many people, I’ve heard the tales of woe from some movie actor about how hard it is to sit still for hours while they apply makeup and prosthetics. Unlike those celebrities, however, I’ve been trained to sit very still for very, very long periods of time. To ignore things like sharp rocks jabbing through my fatigues, or a persistent gnat trying to climb into my ear canal.

My ability to be still as a stone evidently impresses Selene. So much so at one point that she pokes me with her nail until I yelp.

“Ow, what the Hell?”

“Sorry, just seeing if you were still awake. Or alive. I’ve never seen anyone be so perfectly still in my life.”

“I guess I’m more disciplined than most of the people who sit in this chair.”

She gives me a look, but her smile is mostly amused rather than annoyed.

“And you’re humble, too. Now close your mouth, I need to add some more detail to this hole in your jawline.”

I do as I’m told. This is her wheelhouse, I’m just an extra. At first, I was worried about this process. If I’m sitting down, often with my eyes closed, how can I keep her safe?

Then I realized Selene was right. The security was tighter than any I’d ever seen in my life. Not that Moreno and his boys couldn’t still get in, but they’d be very unlikely to make a move on Selene while she’s on the studio lot.

So I try to mix vigilance with being a good subject for Selene’s artistic talents. From time to time, I’ve been looking at myself in the mirror, and at first I didn't think I looked much like a zombie at all.

Now, though, the character is really coming to life. Unless I look for the specific places where I know the rubber applications are adhered to my skin, I can’t tell it’s not for real.

“Try not to move your face too much for the next five minutes or so,” Selene says as she sets her paintbrush down. “After that, everything should be set and you’ll be able to go full Jim Carrey if you want to.”

“I don’t think I can stretch my face quite that much.”

“You won’t have to. Now, have you ever done any acting before?”

I start to smile, then remember I have to keep my face relatively still.

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