Page 48 of All Your Pain

“Oh hey, I need a signature for your package.”

Package?Right, it must be something that we ordered the other day.

“I—um, can you just leave it outside the gate?” I say trying to keep my voice steady but every word that comes out of my mouth makes me feel like this guy knows every secret I’m hiding.

I’ve not spoken to anyone other than Dean in days, weeks? Crap, I have no idea how long I’ve even been here. It could be months for all I know.

“Sorry, miss, it needs to be signed for and there’s not exactly anywhere for me to put it that’s not out in the open. If it goes missing it’ll be my fault.”

“I can’t come out!” I say too quickly and clasp a hand over my mouth.

He’s going to know everything I’ve done here with Dean. If I say anything else he’ll know there’s something wrong and he’ll go to the police. That should be a good thing. But what if Dean’s back before the police come? What would he do to me if he thought I tried to get away, again?

I’ve just spent the morning planning out my future with him and now I’m thinking of leaving him. I can’t do that. He needs me.

“Please, just leave it out there. The gate’s, umm, broken. It won’t be fixed until later today so you’ll have to leave it or come back another time.”

There’s a long pause of silence. My chest heaves with each labored breath and I feel like I’m about to start hyperventilating if this guy doesn’t just leave already. I keep a hand held tightly to my mouth so I don’t give my panic away.

Then I hear the man sigh and he finally says, “fine, I’ll just leave it here. Next time, give an update if you’re not actually available.” I can practically hear him rolling his eyes through the speaker and there’s another pause like he’s waiting for me to thank him but I can’t breathe another word.

The quiet hum of the outside world cuts off completely and I finally take a breath. He’s gone but if he really left the package out there then Dean will see it as soon as he gets home. I can’t lie to him about talking to the guy, what if he finds out somehow?

Whatever’s been growing between us would be shattered and he’d never trust me again. I’d be locked up or worse. He might just decide to get rid of me for good.

The door’s locked and there’s nothing I can do except wait for Dean to come home and think of exactly what I should say to him.

As soon as I hear Dean's car outside I’m on my feet and heading to the front door.

I wait a few paces back as it opens and he walks in. Part of me wants to run to him, another wants to push past him and run out of that door before it closes. Seems I can do neither as my feet stay firmly planted to the spot.

I’ve never greeted him like this before, whenever he’s out I usually hole myself up in the bedroom or venture down to thekitchen or the main room. So it’s no surprise that my presence makes his expression turn suspicious on me.

“Dean, I—,” I choke out but everything I planned to say is lost on my tongue as I’m faced with his actual presence.

Just the height of him alone and the way his eyes are always watching me makes me take a step back like I’ve done something wrong. I’m not sure if I have.

I look behind him as he kicks the door shut with his boot but I don’t see any boxes. Did the guy not leave it out there after all? If not then I’ve really put my foot in it by standing here with a clearly guilty conscience.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Concern creases his features and I open my mouth to speak again but nothing comes out. “Willow,” he says slowly as he steps towards me, like I'm a skittish animal about to run. His gaze searches the house around us looking for what could be wrong.

“I’m sorry!” I blurt out as he places his hands on my upper arms, his fingers tighten around them but not enough to hurt.

I wish he’d dig them in deeper.

Why do I feel like I deserve to be punished for this?

“I didn’t know what to do! There was a man talking and I answered but I didn’t tell him anything. I know I shouldn’t have even spoken to him in the first place but I panicked and I didn’t know when you’d be back and you never told me what I was supposed to do…” I start to sob and I pull away from Dean, running my fingers through my hair, digging them in to my scalp. I can feel myself panicking and I don’t know how to stop.

“Willow, baby, I need you to slow down.” He wraps his arms around me and pushes my head into his chest with his large hand, his long fingers massage my scalp sending warm tingles down my spine. “Just take a breath. You can do that for me.”

I nod and breathe deep as I press my forehead into his chest. He smells warm and musky and just so freaking good. I didn’t realize how much I missed him until now.

His whole house has his scent but it’s not the same as having the real thing right under my nose.

I don’t realize he’s moved me out of the entranceway until I feel the soft cushions of the sofa beneath me.

“I need you to start again for me,” he says, pinching my chin softly so I’m looking at him and I nod in his grasp. “Was there someone in the house?”

---