Page 71 of Make Room for Love

“I’m starting to worry about you,” Isabel said. Mira looked up, surprised. “Don’t tire yourself out too much. You should rest.”

Mira bristled. “I know. I can take care of myself.” Of course she was sacrificing her rest for this work. She had thought Isabel understood why.

“It’s easy to get burned out when you’re organizing.” There was something all-knowing about her tone that irked Mira. “I know what it’s like. If you keep going like this, you’re not going to last through the month.”

Mira’s indignation rose. “I know how tiring it is.” She was proud of what she’d done today, even if it had exhausted her. It would be nice if Isabel acknowledged that a little more. “I’m asking everyone else in my department to do this all-out push before the election, and I need to be there with them as their area captain, like I’ve been telling you. It’s worth it to me.”

These days, Mira had a budding sense that she wasn’t just someone who happened to be the Classics area captain, but someone who made decisions and faced the consequences forherself and others. She was someone whose choices mattered. The way she saw herself was changing, and she’d thought Isabel understood. Maybe Mira had been wrong.

Mira was rattled. She had always counted on Isabel to see her the way she wanted to be seen. Isabel had helped her see herself this way in the first place. But now the foundation of Isabel’s trust in her felt shakier than it should.

“I know,” Isabel said. “I’m just saying I’m worried about you.”

Her words were the opposite of reassuring. “Are you just saying this because I didn’t come home when you wanted me to?”

“It’s not about that,” Isabel said, too quickly. “You’ve been working late most nights. I barely ever see you anymore. It’s not just about tonight.” Isabel seemed like she wasn’t finished. “But I don’t think wanting to know where you are and wanting you to be home on time is too much to ask, either.”

Mira put her face in her hands. How had it come to this? She was exhausted, and she still had work to do, and now a sickeningly familiar fear loomed over the conversation. These little arguments over where Mira had gone and whom she was with could easily build up to something worse, until she was trapped. “Like I said, I’m sorry for not texting you, but I never promised you I’d be back at a specific time, and I never asked you to wait up for me. It’s my life. I don’t tell you how to spend your time or what you can and can’t do.”

Isabel looked taken aback. “I didn’t tell you that.”

“I’m doing this so I’ll never have to be exhausted and burned out from being overworked ever again,” Mira continued, pressing on despite Isabel’s hurt expression, desperately needing to make herself heard. “I need us to win this election, and I need us to win a fair contract as soon as we can, and I’ll doanything to make sure it happens. If we lose, I’ll be back to where I’ve been for the last five years.”

“I’m sorry. I know how important this is to you. I really do.”

“Do you?” Something previously unspoken between them was bubbling up. “It’s the only way I can have a living wage and can afford to choose where I live. You understand that, right?”

Isabel’s eyes widened. She put her hands on her lap and went very still.

Mira had never lost sight of that fact. Isabel would blanch at the idea of ever treating her the way Dylan had, or having anything in common with him at all. But maybe Mira was fundamentally still in the same situation she’d been in with him. She could leave Isabel now, but where would she go?

She hadn’t had any reason to worry about it since they’d started dating. Isabel had been wonderful to her. But with Isabel being this pushy about where she was and what she was doing, the fear was returning to lurk in the corners of her mind.

Isabel rubbed her face and sighed. “Yeah. I do.” She was pulling the stoic, responsible mask back on, but Mira could see she wasn’t calm at all. “I got worried about you and I overreacted. I didn’t mean to tell you what to do.”

Regardless of anything else, Isabel cared about her. That was a fundamental difference. Mira hoped it was enough. “I know.”

“I don’t want to get in the way of your organizing or anything else you do.” Isabel looked miserable. “I know it’s your life. I’m sorry.”

Mira softened. They were both anxious and tired, and it was a terrible time to be having an argument. They should have just gone to bed and saved it for tomorrow. Except that Mira would be busy again tomorrow, and then it would be Monday, and Mira’s evenings were now booked too…

Mira moved her chair closer to Isabel, leaned against her, and pressed their foreheads together. Isabel thawed and relaxedinto her touch—only partially, but it was something. “Well, I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier. And I’m sorry for being careless and not texting you back. I’ll bring my backup phone battery with me tomorrow. That would have saved us a lot of unnecessary anguish.” They shared a small smile. “And I’ll do a better job of warning you the next time I’m out late. I can tell you it’ll be the same thing tomorrow, and I don’t want you to wait up.”

“Thank you, sweetheart,” Isabel said, still stiff. “I appreciate that. Don’t worry about me.”

Mira twined their hands together. “I do worry about you. And I wish I could spend more time with you. But it’s just until the election, and then we can make up for lost time. Will you text me tomorrow and tell me how you’re doing?”

Isabel hesitated. “I might go into work tomorrow. They’re behind schedule and looking for some people to work overtime.”

Are you sure? What about your knee? Why are you doing this?Mira bit back her questions. She didn’t want to be a hypocrite, and she wasn’t sure she had enough softness left in her for Isabel’s hard silences tonight.

Maybe the good, easy days were over. Mira was chilled. She’d known those days had to end eventually. But she hadn’t known how soon, and she hadn’t expected it to hit her so hard.

She had been naive. They couldn’t be a refuge for each other forever. They’d both been battered by the world, and the world would keep battering them.

She held Isabel tighter. “Promise me you’ll take care of yourself?”

Isabel nodded. “I’ll text you during my breaks.” Maybe that was the most Mira could hope for.

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