Page 47 of Loving Netta Wilde

Colin was employing the double digging technique that Clyde and Arthur had taught him. You had to dig a trench to the depth of a spade and put the soil to one side, then dig out another layer in the same trench. Then you had to put the first lot of soil back in and cover it up with the second layer. It was overkill in his opinion, but he didn’t want to be accused of not doing the job properly. Especially as Chambers was a star at it. You might know.

Now that he was doing something, he was feeling better. Talking with Ursula had helped. They’d only spoken about the allotment and her friend Samuel, but it had been a refreshing change not to have to analyse his own life in the forensic detail everyone else seemed keen on. He stopped digging and examined his work so far. Not bad. He was getting better. Take that, Chambers, you absolute total out and out bastard.

His thoughts turned to Will’s lovely girlfriend, Belle. How gracious it was of her to acknowledge him. Will might be pretending he didn’t exist, but she’d waved to him. He hadn’t been invisible to her. She might persuade Will to give himanother chance. You never knew. It was important to stay positive and not give up on hope.

Liza was his great hope. When everyone else had turned away from him, she’d carried on loving him. She saw something in him that no one else did. Although, judging by that portrait it wasn’t necessarily what he wanted her to see. Last night, Frank said it would mean a lot to Liza if Colin painted with her. That was bullshit, because she could have painted with him any time she came to stay at his. Mind you, was it any wonder she didn’t with Arianne hovering over them like some demented earth mother gone bad? All the same, Frank was probably just trying to make him feel better, or easing his own conscience for stealing someone else’s daughter. One or the other. Still, Frank was a good sort really. Not many men would let their partner’s ex move in with them. Colin hadn’t fancied it at first, but it had worked out for the best. He couldn’t stay at Netta’s now. Not just because of Will, or even because Chambers was there. It was just too much. Too many feelings being aroused. Feelings that should have been shut off a long time ago.

Colin heard a movement by the hedge. He looked up and was disappointed to find it was Arthur. He’d been hoping for Ursula. He stopped digging. ‘I thought you didn’t come here on Sundays.’

‘I’ve been sent on a mission to make sure you’re still alive.’

He threw his arms out. ‘Yes, still alive. Very much not dead.’

Arthur marched past him towards the shed. ‘Geraldine’s sent food and drink. She seems to believe that if you don’t top yourself first, you’ll die of malnutrition.’

‘I thought she’d be happy to see me six foot under.’

‘Yes, but not on her watch.’

‘Charming.’

Arthur chose a folding chair. ‘Do you want it or not?’

Colin took the wicker chair. ‘Yes.’

‘There’s cheese and pickle, or ham and mustard.’

‘I’ll take the ham, if I may. I’ve been a bit meat-deprived lately.’ Colin bit into the sandwich. Oh but it was tasty. So very, very tasty. Aside from these last three weeks at Netta’s and a defiant veggie breakfast on the morning Arianne locked him out, he’d spent the last year living on the kind of slop that even vegans would turn their noses up at. If that didn’t show commitment to a relationship, he didn’t know what did. But even that wasn’t enough. Well, he hoped Byron was enjoying her signature yellow mush as much as he had. The overgrown, sock-stealing twat. If she hadn’t blocked him, he could have asked her for the recipe and knocked some up for Frank to use for his decorating. It would make great wallpaper paste.

Arthur poured out two coffees from a flask and handed one over to him.

‘Thank you.’ Colin’s mouth was full of food. He couldn’t shove it down fast enough. He was like one of those little orphans from a Charles Dickens novel. If he could leave his mouth empty for long enough, he’d probably start singing about food, glorious food.

‘Don’t thank me. I’d happily leave you to starve.’

Just occasionally, Arthur’s affable mask slipped, and a darker side emerged. Colin remembered one time in particular. ‘You slashed my tyres once. I watched you doing it from the bedroom window.’

‘Count yourself lucky. I could have done a lot worse than that.’

Count himself lucky? Fat chance. ‘I don’t feel very lucky.’

‘That’s because you’re a greedy, selfish prat who only ever thinks of himself.’

‘Don’t hold back, Arthur, whatever you do.’

‘And another thing. Ursula’s a nice lady. If you hurt her, I’m perfectly prepared to slash them again.’

‘Very noble of you but in case you haven’t noticed, I don’t have a car anymore. It’s been stolen from me, along with my house.’

‘I’ll wait till you’ve got one again.’

‘You’re old, Arthur. I can wait longer than you’ll probably live before getting another one.’

‘Don’t be so sure. By the look of you, I’ll outlive you.’

Colin fished around for a cheese and pickle sandwich. Dairy was another unacceptable luxury under Arianne’s regime. ‘You can be quite unpleasant sometimes, can’t you?’

‘Oh I can get much more unpleasant than this, believe you me. So if you’re planning to do the dirty on my Netta again, think long and hard about it because next time, I won’t hold back.’

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