Page 20 of Wine, Whiskey, & Lipstick 2

Dillyn stirred but didn’t fully wake, placing her somewhere between consciousness and a state of twilight.

Fighting to recapture the calm of moments before, Dillyn burrowed into Ben’s side to absorb some of his heat. Instinctively, he held her tighter.

You’re safe. Trust his love.Those were the thoughts of one side of her brain, but the other was diametrically opposed. That side was darker. It told her that she was not safe and that Ben couldn’t possibly love her. How could he when she was so tainted?He will drop your ass like a bad habit at the first sign of trouble.Ben would never understand terminating this pregnancy.

What? Why is that even a thought?And what kind of evil person would rip his heart out by even considering it?

Dillyn’s inner chill grew colder, and being wrapped inside Ben’s arms didn’t do a thing to stop it. How could it be when the cold wasn’t external? It was coming from that hidden place deep within her.

Her skin prickled. The hairs covering her body stood up as dread spread throughout. Dillyn clenched her nails into the fleshy part of her palms and winced in pain.

Wake up. She struggled to come into full consciousness while her head writhed from side-to-side.

The wrinkles on her forehead from frowning reached her hairline. Her eyes tightened and flitted erratically behind closed lids, “please, no,” she said in a pained whisper.

Dillyn could now name it. She knew what this feeling was.Hewas coming. However,hehadn’t appeared in her dreams in years. No amount of time could make Dillyn forget. In some ways, it was like no time had passed at all.

Forever wouldn’t be long enough.It was wishful thinking on her part. She was well past the point of no return–an unplanned visit would happen tonight.

Her sperm donor, Malcolm Anderson, who shared her DNA, was coming. DNA Dillyn wished she could give back. He invoked fear in her unlike any other. It was worse than conjuring Bloody Mary as a child. It was enough to induce a panic attack if Dillyn said Melvin’s name just once, without a mirror, let alone three times.

No matter how hard Dillyn’s subconscious fought, his face appeared plain as day.

The unkempt look of his matted beard, skin that appeared jaundiced from years of drug and alcohol abuse, and fire engine red eyes greeted her. Not only could Dillyn see him, but she also saw her ten-year-old self huddled in the back of the closet, hiding, and scared to death.

Dillyn’s knees were tented, and her tiny little arms were wrapped tightly around them as she rocked back-and-forth.Please, God.Dillyn silently begged.Don’t let him find me.Not this time.It was asking for the impossible.

He would find her. He always found her.

As soon as Dillyn finished her prayer, glazed eyes spotted her through a crack in the door from across the room. He stared a hole into her as he spoke between clenched teeth. “Get over here!”

Tears streamed down Dillyn’s face. She squeezed them shut hoping to make herself disappear only for her mother’s voice to take a sledgehammer to that wish shattering it into microscopic bits.

“Dillyn,” her mom slurred from either being high as a kite or drunk as a skunk. Probably both. “I promise. He won’t hurt you. Come on out.”

It was a lie. Dillyn knew better.

Her mind screamed, “Wake up!” But she couldn’t. Dillyn was stuck inside the nightmare of her mind.

“Joyce, if I have to walk across the room and snatch that girl out of that damn closet,” His tone invoked an even bigger fear, “it’s really going to be a goddamned problem! That man is waiting in the living room and has already paid me. He ain’t going to wait all damn day. So, hurry the fuck up!”

Dillyn’s eyes popped open and grew to the size of saucers. She watched her mom nod in agreement as she began to advance towards her. Then, Joyce stopped just a few inches from the door, and for the briefest of moments, Dillyn thoughther mom might save her for once.

She didn’t.

Instead, Joyce turned around to wave her impatient father off. “I said I’ll handle this!”

Her mother took a few more steps before stopping in front of the closet. She opened the door fully and reached her hand out to Dillyn. Dillyn shook her head violently while pleading for her mom not to make her go. Her words were strangled as she pleaded and cried. “Mama, please don’t make me.” Large droplets of tears rolled down her face, falling into a huge pool onto her arms. They did not affect the woman who should have fought tooth and nail to protect her.

Panicked in her dream and real life,Dillyn’s eyes popped open, and she bolted upright, gasping for air.

Immediately, Ben woke-up ready to battle whatever had scared the daylights out of her. His head moved as if on a swivel, only to realize Dillyn had awakened from a bad dream. Her eyes were wild and unfocused.

“Hey. It’s me.” He spoke gently like he would have spoken to Whisper when she had gotten spooked.

At the sound of Ben’s voice, Dillyn still wasn’t fully present. He repeated himself, hoping to break through. “Dill, it’s me.”

Her face was wet with tears. She’d been shaken to her core.

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