Page 57 of Wine, Whiskey, & Lipstick 2

Ben wasn’t following. “What? I . . . I don’t understand.”

Rainbows. There isn’t a prize or pot of gold at the end of it.Dillyn knew Ben was trying to understand what she’d said, but her words weren’t meant for him.Soon . . . it will all be clear.Deep down, Dillyn had always known this moment would come no matter how hard she fought against it. Dillyn took a deep breath, held it, and then let it out.

Ben watched every emotion play across her beautiful face. Physically, she started to wiggle out of his arms, and emotionally, Dillyn was even further away.

How do I reach her?“Dill . . .”

Everything was crashing down, and no matter what direction Dillyn turned, there stood a huge steaming pile of shit. Ben couldn’t save her. She had to face this situation and her demons on her own. It was the only way to keep everyone safe.

Dillyn sat up straight. Her voice was thick with emotion, “I can’t do this.”

Instinctively, Ben knew what Dillyn meant but refused to acknowledge it. “Yes, you can. You can do anything. Let’s talk it through.” He just needed a little more time to prove her wrong.

Silence stretched out between them. He waited patiently for Dillyn to speak and did his best not to push and allow her to move at her own pace. Only that approach backfired.

She spoke in a strangled whisper, “No, I can’t.”

Ben knew what he said next might shape his entire future. He was measured and confident when he responded. “WEcan do anything.” He would not let the love of his life and the mother of his unborn child slip through his fingers.Not again.

Her eyes were brimming with both unshed tears and love. They locked with his. “This isn’t about you, Ben, or even us. It’s about me. You and I know I’m the common denominator in this confusing web of craziness. Selah was taken, and someone tampered with Cat’s breaks.I’mthe reason someone is coming after my friends and everyone I love.”

“We don’t know that.”

The look on her face said,yes, we do.

Ben forged ahead. “Don’t allow your fear of becoming your parents destroy what we’re building.”

Dillyn hated herself for hurting him. “My parents are coming for me. It doesn’t matter who put them up to it or even why. I’m not strong enough to fight them. They’ve destroyed the best parts of me.”

“That’s bullshit! You’re amazing. You’ve built an incredible life for yourself. You’re surrounded by people who love you.” Ben knew he was fighting for his future. He began to rattle off a list of reasons to fight for the life she wanted. “You’re strong. You’re smart. You’re thoughtful and loving.” He caressed her face, “You’ve become myeverything.”

The guilt Dillyn felt for dragging him into her life felt even heavier. A tear rolled down her cheek. Her throat was going to close. She had to say it before it was impossible to speak. “I don’t feel strong, or smart, or thoughtful . . . I feel hollow.”

“I love you.”

His sincerity was breaking her heart. “Don’t. You can’t love me.”

“You’re wrong. I already do, and contrary to what you may think, I can love you through anything.”

Dillyn could no longer hold his gaze and turned away. “Please don’t make this harder than it already is.”

Ben was losing her. How was this even happening? “Dillyn, this is crazy. I know you love me. Trust that we can get through this together.”

Dillyn’s mind was made up. “We can’t be together. It’s the only way I know how to keep everyone safe.”

“You can’t just shut feelings off.”

Ben wasn’t listening. Dillyn had to try another tactic.

She reached for his hand. “I don’t know how to be the best version of me. I can see her but don’t know how to beher.” The well of emotions was too hard to overcome, and Dillyn’s tears overflowed. “I’ve been trying so hard to do what I think is right for everyone–for you, our baby, our friends and family but it all feels like that rainbow. It’s an illusion. It’s not real.

People are gunning for me, and I don’t know who or why. I’m outside my body watching everything unfold, and I can’t stop any of it.” Dillyn linked her fingers with his and placed it over her heart, “I won’t ruin your life. I won’t allow what happened to Steven to happen to you.”

“How many times have I told you I’m not Steven!”This is crazy. “You don’t want to do this. I can feel your heart beating a mile a minute. I have no idea why you keep bringing up rainbows, but what we have is real. It’s not an illusion.”

“You’re not hearing me.”

“I hear you loud and clear, but what you’re saying is bullshit. It doesn’t make sense. I know you’re scared . . .”

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