Page 58 of Wine, Whiskey, & Lipstick 2

Ben understood that Dillyn had a gumbo of issues, but he was only focused on two. Protecting her and keeping their relationship intact. It was a tall order but one he was willing to do anything for. “I’m not ignoring anything. I think we’re stronger together than apart. And for the record, I know you’ll be a good mom.”

Dillyn spoke through tears, “I want to be a good mother, but I don’t have the tools, and I don’t have anything to give.”

He shook his head no. “That’s not true. Please, just trust me.”

“What happens if I stay? I would never forgive myself is something happened to you, Selah, Lucas, Wyatt, Cat, or Palmer.”

“Running away is not going to solve anything.”

“Ben, I’m floating without an anvil. You saw me today, I lost my shit at the mention of my parent’s name. I’m not whole.”

Her words hit him hard. He immediately had flashbacks of Lana and Rylee. Suddenly, he felt sick to his stomach as he recalled Lana saying something similar.Dillyn is stronger than that . . . isn’t she? It made him hear the words she’d spoken differently.

What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to fix this? How could he make sure history didn’t repeat itself? “I’ll be your anchor.”

Dillyn could see the terror all over his face. “Ben, let me be clear. I would never physically harm myself, but I’m not in a place where I’m any good to anyone, including this baby. She was surprised to feel a strong sense of loss for their unborn child. “I would be passing too much emotional trauma, and this baby deserves so much more than that.”

Didn’t she realize she was already being a good mother? Ben wanted to pull Dillyn into his arms and pour all his love into her, but that was whatheneeded. It wasn’t whatsheneeded. As much as it felt like tearing away a piece of his own body, he was going to have to let Dillyn figure it out . . .alone.

Mentally, Ben understood that it wasn’t him per se, but it was killing him that Dillyn was destroying their future. He made one last-ditch effort. “I won’t pretend to agree with you on any of this. You may not trust that I can keep you safe, but until we know more, the ranch is the safest place for you to be. As far as our baby . . . if you don’t want to be a mother, you don’t have to be. Give our child a chance. After he or she is born, give them to me.”

Dillyn wasn’t going to argue. She couldn’t maintain eye contact. “Ben . . .” Her voice broke, “I can’t be a mom.”

He was gutted. Angry and hurt couldn’t begin to describe it. Dillyn was operating out of fear and making suck ass decisions. He wanted to shake some sense into her because she was throwing everything away. He needed to regroup and a little more time to change her mind. Dillyn wasn’t in the right headspace to listen.

Instead of saying something he might regret later, Ben could only nod. “Got it.” For now, there wasn’t anything left to say. He stepped away from Dillyn and back toward the bed where he’d placed his Stetson. Stoically, he placed it on top of his head. “Promise you won’t do anything without talking to me first.”

Dillyn wrapped her arms around her body as she stared at her feet, “Okay.” She hated herself for hurting him but also knew she was doing the right thing.

There would be no goodbye kisses or hugs or making love until the sun came up. It was a bookend to a chapter that started before the messes in her life had been fully resolved. Dillyn placed her hand briefly on his forearm and felt it bunch underneath her touch. Ben was a good man who didn’t love easily. She could only hope he didn’t hate her, but Dillyn had to do what was best for her. Eventually, Ben would realize she was also doing what was best for him.

It hurt too much to look at her. Instead, Ben kept his eyes laser-focused on a picture on the wall. “How are we supposed to manage the sleeping arrangements?”

“The guest rooms on this floor are good. We’ll get them ready.”

He nodded. “That’s it then?”

Dillyn whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Ben turned and walked out of the door. It took everything within him not to bust back inside and shake some sense into her. Instead, he placed his palm against it. He felt helpless, defeated, and heartbroken. Maybe if he’d let Lana go, she and Rylee would be alive.

The stabbing feeling in his chest returned. As much as Ben hated it, he would have to give Dillyn the mental headspace to figure things out. The million-dollar question was how he would balance that and untangle the mystery behind everything that was going on.

Chapter 26

Dillyn wasn’t sure how long she’d been sitting in her room staring out into space when there was a knock on her door.

She moved like a robot as she got up to answer it.

Palmer was standing on the other side.

Dillyn sighed, “I’m done fighting with you.”

“So am I.” Palmer lifted a carton of vanilla ice cream and a jar of dill pickles in one hand. “Peace offering?”

Dillyn stepped aside so that Palmer could come inside. “I’m not going to eat that. It’s gross.”

“Okay.” Palmer placed them on Dillyn’s day table. “I was an ass to you.”

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