Page 50 of Not My Finest Hour

“I know it’s not what you wanted. Thanks for these though,” I say, holding up the box of chocolates. “It’s a poor substitute for spending time with you, but it’ll provide me some temporary happiness.”

“You don’t have to worry about her,” Fern says, coming up behind me. “I’ll take her to Snoqualmie Falls for you.”

“Thank you for doing that,” Justin says. “I’m sure you two will have fun today.” He checks his watch. “I’m sorry, but I’ve got to run.” He gives me a kiss, letting his lips linger while his hand palms the back of my head.

“Are you sure you can’t come in?” I say between kisses.

“You know I would if I could.” He kisses me once, twice, then a third time before pulling away entirely. “See you soon.”

I watch as he gets in his car, feeling sorry for myself that our little interaction will have to hold me over until the next time we’re together, whenever that is. With a heavy sigh, I close the door and turn to face Fern. “You’re not even dressed to go out.” It’s eleven in the morning, and she’s still wearing the pajama pants and baggy T-shirt she wore to bed last night.

“I’ll be five minutes. Just wait for me. Besides, what else are you going to do?” she says, a grin stretching across her lips.

Dammit. She’s got me there. I have absolutely nothing else to do now that Justin bailed on me. Part of me wants to sit around the house and see how fast I can consume this box of chocolates. But then the reasonable part of me knows that I would only feel miserable, and the best thing for me would be to get out of the house.

Fern dashes off to her room, and I plop down on the couch, tossing the box of chocolates on the cushion next to me. I check my phone for the time so I can yell at Fern when it takes her longer than the five minutes she promised. And when she comes back into the living room ten minutes later, I can’t help but say something about it.

I narrow my eyes. “You said five minutes.”

“Thatwasfive minutes.”

“It was ten. I was keeping track.”

“So what? Did you have someplace to be?”

“Boy, you’re really rolling with the insults today, aren’t you?”

“I’m sorry your day didn’t turn out like you wanted, but now we get to spend some time together. There are worse things, right?” She bats her eyelashes at me.

I stay silent because there’s no point in continuing this line of conversation anymore. We’re just going to keep talking in circles, and no one is going to get anywhere.

Fern senses my annoyance. She comes over and tugs on my sweatshirt sleeve. “Come on. Let’s go. We’re burning daylight here, and if we’re lucky, we might have a break in the rain while we’re there.”

“Fine.” I grab my jacket because even though it’s supposed to quit raining here in the next thirty minutes or so, the forecast is never that reliable, and conditions vary so much depending on what area you’re in.

The drive to Snoqualmie Falls is quiet because I’m too busy having my own pity party to carry on a conversation.

“Don’t tell me you’re still upset about my comments,” Fern says, tapping on the steering wheel to the beat of the music. We chose to take her car because it’s newer than mine and more reliable. Mine still runs just fine, but I don’t like taking it on long trips because I’m always worried it won’t make it back. And since it’s her car, she drove.

“It’s not that.” Her comments annoyed me, but that’s not what’s running through my head. “I’m just wondering what a future with Justin is going to look like. Is it going to be a lot of missed dates and apologies? And what about when the baby comes? Is he going to miss out on family time because he’s at work all the time?”

Fern glances my way. “You just have to be patient with him. This is a busy time for him, and I know he doesn’t enjoy having to bail on you at the last minute. Didn’t you see his face? He looked downright tortured.”

She’s right. He did look incredibly upset, and I shouldn’t add to his misery by making things difficult for him. But I do want my concerns to be heard, and it’s something he and I will need to discuss at some point—whenever he’s not busy. “I hear you. And I get that things are difficult for him right now, but do I need to remind you that I’m the one carrying our baby and this is also a big time for me?”

Wisely, Fern stays silent.

“My entire life is going to change, and all I want is some support from him throughout the process.”

“He’ll be there for you. I know he will. And I’m sure that once his residency is over, things will get easier. When did you say he’ll be done with his training? I don’t know that you’ve ever said.”

“He’ll be done this summer.” It seems like it’s forever away, but it’s only a couple of months.

“That’s plenty of time before the baby arrives. You’ll have lots of time to strengthen your relationship, and then once the baby comes, you’ll have all the kinks ironed out.”

“Yeah, just in time for new kinks,” I say, giving her the side eye.

“You’ve seen how connected Mom and Dad are. I’m sure it wasn’t always that way. They probably went through their fair share of problems when I was born. And by the time you were born, they were a well-oiled machine. You should talk to Mom. I’m sure she’d love to tell you all about it.”

---