Page 59 of Not My Finest Hour

I love that when you’re pregnant, it apparently gives you permission to talk openly about cervixes with random strangers. And since I’ve been reading the pregnancy books, I know what she’s talking about so I don’t have to pretend like I know how the birthing process works. I mean, I knew most of it, but the book was a nice refresher. “Is this your first pregnancy too?”

She shakes her head. “It’s my fifth.”

“Oh.”

She smiles like she’s had this reaction before from people. “My husband and I said we only wanted two. And then they just kept coming. But this one is it for us.” She makes a motion like she’s cutting something with scissors. “Can’t have any more unless I have them with someone else,” she says with a laugh.

“Well, you look great, and I never would’ve guessed you’ve had five children,” I say, hoping she takes my comment as the compliment it’s intended to be.

The door to the exam rooms opens, and the pregnant woman gets called back. She wishes me luck, leaving me alone with my paperwork.

About fifteen minutes go by, then the door opens again. This time, it’s my turn to go back. The assistant gets some basic measurements from me, like height and weight, then has me step into the bathroom so they can do a urine test. She tells me that if I’d like to do an ultrasound today, not to empty my bladder completely because the ultrasound works better with a full bladder. I do as she says and place my sample in the little cupboard above the toilet, then step into the exam room where the assistant is waiting.

After going through some basic questions, I’m finally able to meet the doctor. Dr. Andrus steps in and her whole demeanor reminds me so much of my mother. She’s like a comfort to me, instantly soothing, and I can already tell that this arrangement is going to work out well. Dr. Andrus introduces herself and her voice is the most peaceful sound I’ve heard all day. In a career full of nervous mothers and sometimes tense situations, with her voice, Dr. Andrus has an advantage when it comes to putting people at ease.

“Dahlia, it’s so good to meet you. Are you the one that works with Kim?” she asks.

My posture relaxes as Dr. Andrus’ comforting bedside manner takes hold. I know I’m in good hands with her even though we’ve just met. “Yes. You came highly recommended by her.”

Dr. Andrus smiles. “She and I have been friends for a long time. She’s a great person, and I’m happy she referred you to me. How are you feeling about the pregnancy?”

“I feel okay about it. Nervous, of course, but mostly I just want to see what’s happening inside of me.”

“Well, the urine test confirmed your pregnancy. Was this planned?” She’s not judging me by asking this question. I get the impression she asks all her patients this.

I shake my head. “It wasn’t. We were using protection and it didn’t work.”

She asks me what method of contraception we used, then asks some hard-hitting questions. “And what about the father? Is he going to be a part of the baby’s life?”

I shrug, feeling a wave of sadness wash over me. “We’re not exactly talking at the moment.”

She nods like she’s heard this before from her patients, and given that she deals with all types of pregnancies, not just ones between happily married couples, she probably has. “Have you been together long?”

“Our relationship is only a few months old. This happened because of a one-night stand,” I say, pointing to my stomach.

“Just know that there are options available to you should you decide you don’t want to continue the pregnancy.”

“I’ve thought it through and I definitely want to keep it. I have a great support network to help me out if necessary.”

Dr. Andrus flashes me an earnest smile. “That’s good to hear. If you ever need to talk through anything, I can refer you to some great therapists who specialize in family matters.”

“Thank you. I’ll reach out if I need it.”

We go through some more general questions about my living situation, financial situation, and she recommends some prenatal vitamins for me to take. And when it’s time for me to go back and get the ultrasound, she tells me that she’s thrilled to be a part of this special time in my life.

Now is the part I’ve been waiting for. I finally get to see what my baby looks like and if I’m lucky, hear the heartbeat. I step into the ultrasound room and the technician, who’s already there, greets me with a smile. She asks me to lie down on the exam table and has me lift my shirt and slide my pants down a bit so she can better access the area she needs to scan.

“I’m going to put the gel on, but don’t worry, we warm it up beforehand so it’s not such a shock for people,” she says, applying the gel all over my pelvic area.

“I definitely appreciate that.”

Right as she’s about to start the ultrasound, there’s a knock on the door. Dr. Andrus sticks her head in the room.

“I’m sorry for interrupting, but he insisted on coming back here. He says he’s the father. Are you okay with that?” she asks, concern in her expression. She opens the door wider and Justin is standing behind her.

How did he know?“Yeah, it’s okay.”

The technician glances between Justin and me, sensing there’s something deeper going on, then excuses herself and lets Justin and I have the room to ourselves.

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