Page 16 of Down My Chimney

“If I had a secret girlfriend, and she lived in LA, why the hell would we be having phone sex if I was driving up to see her in person?” I asked, annoyed by the turn the conversation had taken.

“Because she has to preserve her chastity, dumbass.”

Dev grinned. “Yeah, you’re gonna be sitting at one end of the bed, holding your phone up to your dick and jerking off, while she’s at the other, fingering her—”

“Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you guys?” I snapped. “Do I speculate about your sex life like this?”

“Aw, did we touch a nerve?” Matty asked.

“Don’t take it out on us just because The Virgin Mary won’t put out,” Dev said.

“Hey, if she doesn’t, I’m sure you could always ask your friend Henry,” Taylor added, apparently giving up on meat pies for the time being. “I bet he’d behappyto help you out.”

I froze. “What do you mean?”

“Ooh, good point,” Dev said. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but the way he looked at you—”

“The way he looked in general,” Taylor snorted.

“—Waspretty gay,” Dev finished.

My stomach clenched. The guys hadn’t mentioned Henry once since he’d left. I’d hoped that meant they hadn’t given him much thought. Evidently, I was wrong.

“Must be nice, having a secret girlfriend and a secret boyfriend in the same city,” Matty said, smacking his spatula against his chin. Little bits of egg clung to his face, but he didn’t seem to notice. “What one doesn’t take care of, the other can.”

“We should honestly be thanking Blake,” Dev said. “I mean, that dudeslepthere. If Blake wasn’t letting him suck his dick, he might have decided to try one of ours. Imagine waking up with your dick in his mouth.”

“He could try,” Taylor said. “But he’d have my fist in his mouth a second later.”

“He’d probably like it.” Dev laughed.

I felt sick. It was one thing for them to joke about movies and dick sizes, but this was different. It was meaner. And targeted right at Henry.

Well, Henry and me. That was what made me cringe the most. They werelaughingat the idea of me and Henry hooking up. Like it disgusted them. How the hell could I ever tell them the truth, living here?

“I don’t have a secret girlfriend and I don’t have a secret boyfriend,” I spat. A lie, but what could I say? “Henry’s not even my friend. Our parents are friends, that’s it.” Another lie. “Just because I let him crash with me when he had an interview down here doesn’t mean I like him. And I’m going to LA for my parents’ anniversary party, not to fuck anyone. If you’re just going to be dicks about it, maybe I won’t bother coming back.”

God, did I even remember what it felt like, not to be lying all the time? Not to have constant, low-level dread simmering in my gut? I grabbed my laptop from where it was plugged in by the TV, shoving it and the power cord into my bag.

“Blake, come on,” Matty said. “We were just kidding.”

“Seriously, man,” Dev said. “Obviously we know you’re not going up there to see your secret girlfriend. You’re going up there to see your secretgirlfriends, plural. You could never pick just one girl and settle.”

I growled and stalked to the door.

“So that’s a no on the meat pies, then?” Taylor called.

I didn’t bother responding. I stepped into the hall and slammed the door behind me. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

* * *

I was relieved to finally get to LA. Traffic was terrible, which only worsened my mood. What should have been a two-and-a-half-hour drive had taken five, and it was eight in the evening by the time I got out of my car.

Henry still lived at home, which would have made visiting him hard under normal circumstances. But this weekend, his sister, Fliss, was on vacation with my sister Claire, so he was apartment-sitting for her. I still parked a block away, though, just in case Henry’s parents drove by and recognized my car.

I rang the buzzer, so ready to be inside. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to nap or have sex first, but both activities could be done in bed without any clothes on, which sounded perfect to me.

But when Henry opened the door to Fliss’s apartment, he grinned broadly and said, “Ahh! You made it in time! We can still go!”

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