Page 19 of Playboy For Hire

“Well, aren’t you a tall drink of water,” Marie said, smiling up at Ryder coyly. “I bet you use the gym. You need to be on guard for—”

“Yes ma’am, I do use the gym. Gotta get my workouts in. Can’t say I’ve seen any evidence of chemicals in the smoothies, but who wants to talk about that anyway?”

Auntie Marie blinked. I didn’t think she was used to other people interruptingher.

“Tonight’s a party,” Ryder continued. “Now, why don’t I walk you inside and you can tell me all about your dress. Is that vintage Vera Wang? The Fall 1999 Ready-to-Wear collection?”

He offered Marie his arm and walked with her towards the front door, giving me a reassuring smile over his shoulder as they went.

“That was neatly done,” Uncle Harold observed as Ryder and Marie walked away. “I’ve never seen someone shut down one of her spirals so smoothly.” He gave me a sidelong smile. “I approve of your choice—and I’ll approve even more if he can show me how to do that.”

Was Ryder laying it on a bit thick, playing the gay man obsessed with fashion? Maybe—but it had gotten Marie onto a harmless topic, so I supposed I couldn’t complain. I smiled at Uncle Harold and followed Marie and Ryder into the building.

An hour later, I was extricating myself from a conversation with my cousin Layton, who was telling me fervently about the benefits of actively managed mutual funds, and looking around the restaurant for Ryder. I’d completely lost sight of him after he’d gone to get us more drinks half an hour ago.

I wasn’t worried, exactly. Ryder had been completely charming with everyone he’d met. But I felt bad that I wasn’t there to run interference. Most of my family members were perfectly normal, but there were about eighty people in this room, which meant a lot of energy, a lot of laughter, and a tangled web of relationships that would be hard for anyone to keep straight.

I wondered if Ryder had stepped out onto the patio to get some fresh air. I told Layton I’d catch up with him later and went looking. I checked the bar first, then the tables covered with trays of appetizers. Little caprese salad spears, stuffed mushrooms, and butter-covered baby radishes were displayed invitingly. I grabbed a mushroom on my way past and popped it in my mouth. No Ryder over here.

I turned, ready to complete my circuit of the room, when I saw my cousin Julie and Brandon five feet in front of me, directly in my way. Julie was laughing at something Brandon had said, and he leaned in, stroking her cheek with the back of his hand. Then he looked up, surveying the room, and his eyes met mine.

It was the first time we’d seen each other in months. Since he’d ended things with me. My heart rate sped up, and my breaths came in fast and shallow. Brandon was still as handsome as ever. The kind of large guy who looks like he played football in college.Brandon never had, though. He’d been too busy with robotics and tutoring kids in science. He worked as an engineer out in Virginia now.

Loss squeezed my heart as Brandon’s eyes held mine. But a moment later, his gaze moved on, like he’d barely noticed I was there. Did I mean that little to him? We’d been together for six months. Or was he just that determined to bury every trace of what we’d had?

Suddenly, the room was way too hot. I needed to get out. I stepped out onto the patio and closed my eyes in relief as the wind blasted my face with cold night air. I stood motionless for a minute, just savoring the stillness and silence.

Fairy lights sparkled in the low-branched cherry trees that arched over the patio. In spring, they’d burst into clouds of pink flowers, but for now, their limbs and twigs were dark and spare. There were scattered tables and chairs, and a group of abandoned cocktail glasses on a ledge near the windows, but I had the place to myself for now.

Seeing Brandon was harder than I’d expected. I’d known it wouldn’t be easy, but I’d been following him online ever since our breakup—Julie would have noticed if I’d suddenly broken that connection. So I’d seen tons of snapshots of the two of them together, even liked a few on Julie’s feed. But pictures were nothing to the hole I felt in my chest right now.

It was all still so raw. Brandon dumping me, out of the blue. Telling me there was no reason to be upset, that we’d never really been together in the first place. That would have been bad enough, but Brandon revealing that he was dating Julie instead of me? One of my few family members who lived in the DC area? It just hurt.

And it wasn’t like Brandon was a supervillain. He could be genuinely sweet. There was a reason I’d been attracted to him in the first place, and it wasn’t just his looks.

But he’d always been driven. He wanted to run for Congress one day, and he wanted the image that came with that. Adoring wife. Two-point-five children. A white picket fence and a golden retriever. And none of that included a secret queer affair in his past.

I sighed. Brandon had known Julie for just as long as he’d known me. We’d all met at a networking event for young Black professionals a year ago. And Brandon was bi. It wasn’t unreasonable for him to have feelings for her.

But it still hurt. Seeing how happy they were together. IwantedJulie to be happy. I just wished it weren’t with him.

“There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”

I jumped at the sound of Ryder’s voice behind me, and turned to see him standing at the edge of the patio, a glass of merlot in one hand, a seltzer in the other. His hair was darker under the night sky, and some of it was damp, pressed to his forehead with sweat.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to abandon you. Just got a little hot in there,” I told him.

“No worries.” He walked over and handed me the glass of wine. “Though I might have challenged your Uncle Harold to a limbo contest later tonight. I can’t be trusted when left alone in social situations.”

I snorted softly. “You told me on Tuesday that was specifically where I could trust you.”

“I believe you’ll find, if you review the conversation thoroughly, that I said I wasgoodwith people. And I am. Your uncle loves me now. But I never said I could be trusted.” He laughed, then peered at me when I didn’t join in. “Hey, are you okay?”

He looked at me with concern.

“What? Yeah. Why?” I took a sip of my wine, hoping I didn’t look as flustered as I felt.

“Your eyes. It just looked—” Ryder brought a hand halfway to my face, then let it fall. “For a second, it looked like you’d been crying.”

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