Page 35 of Playboy For Hire

“You too,” I said, before flushing. I wasn’t usually that forward.

But he just laughed. “Well, thank you. I’m so glad we’re clicking.”

“So what kinds of animals are you working to save specifically?” I asked.

Joe leaned back in his chair, taking another long sip of his drink. “We’ve focused on lots of different ones over the years, but currently, I’m interested in the dwarf wedgemussel.”

“What’s that?” I asked. I’d never heard of it.

“The short answer is that it’s a mussel,” he said. Then he winked. “But the long answer is that it’s a meal ticket to some of the best wining-and-dining I’ve ever had.”

I blinked. “What?”

“Get this,” he said, leaning forward again. “All you have to do is pick an endangered species to focus on. Make sure it’s one nobody else really cares about, so you can corner the market. Then you just talk about it a lot, and suddenly all kinds of lobbyists from fossil fuels to agriculture to big pharma appear at your side with gifts.”

I blinked again. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I—”

“It’s a free lunch,” Joe laughed. “More than lunch. Dinner, travel, hotels…you name it. Any industry that pollutes our rivers and streams—which is basically all of them—is desperate to donate to your campaign, and give you gifts on the side. You know, I’ve got a bottle of Macallan back on my boat right now, a gift from Peter Cassinelli at Labrago Chemical.”

“Oh. That sounds…interesting.”

That was the nicest thing I could think of to say. In reality, it sounded self-centered and grifty. But I supposed if he was still getting donations to save the mussels… How did one save mussels, exactly? Presumably by forcing companies not to pollute anymore, which I wasn’t sure Joe was actually pushing for. But maybe if he—

“Wait, you have a boat?” I said, keying in on something he’d mentioned.

“It’s nothing special,” he said. “Just a houseboat moored down at the marina. But Peter, the guy from Labrago, has a yacht that I’ve been on and man, I’ve gotta get one of those. He took me on a cruise down to St. Lucia, all around the Caribbean. Wicked cool. So that’s the goal, now.”

“Isn’t the goal to save the swarf sledgemussel?” I asked. I tried again. “I mean the dwarf dredgelussel?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Joe said. “I mean, sure, that’s the goal in the grander scheme of things. But if I can get a yacht out of the process, I’m not gonna complain, you know?

“I always wanted to live on a houseboat when I was little,” I said wistfully. “I read this book about a dog who lived on a boat when I was a kid, and I just thought it was the coolest thing.”

“Well, I can show you my boat, if you want. Maybe after the next round, we could head down there?”

“I’d love that,” I blurted out. “I’m so curious what life is like on one.”

“Well, I hope it meets your expectations. At the very least, it’ll give us a chance to get more…comfortable. I’ve gotta say, Quinn, I can’t stop staring at you. You’re so hot.”

Suddenly, I realized I’d just agreed to go back to Joe’s boat not for a wholesome tour, but to hook up. I laughed nervously, wondering what the hell I’d been thinking. But then, I hadn’t really been thinking—thanks to all the vodka and wine and scotch swirling around in my head.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t hot. He was the proverbial tall, dark, and handsome. And he did seem interested in me, which was a plus. But I just couldn’t get excited about it.

It’s because you don’t actually like him, said a little voice in the back of my mind, and with a sinking heart, I realized it was right. He wasn’t horrible or anything, but the whole swedgebustle scam had put a bad taste in my mouth.

Maybe I just didn’t know him well enough, though?

“So where would you go, if you had a yacht?” I asked, reminding myself to keep an open mind. “What’s your dream vacation?”

That was always a fun topic. My personal dream vacation swung back and forth between Argentina or South Africa, both of which had excellent birdwatching. Though I supposed I could take aroad trip to the Gulf Coast instead. Closer to home, but still lots to see.

“Oh, you know,” Joe said. “I’d just hop in and set sail until I got to the edge of the earth.”

I nodded encouragingly. “Yeah, that’d be amazing. But like, where specifically. Any part of the world you particularly want to see?”

He gave me a strange look. “Yeah. The edge of the earth.”

I cocked my head to the side, wondering what I was missing. “Is that the name of some resort, or…”

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