Page 44 of Playboy For Hire

Iwoke up in darkness. It was still night—my curtains were a deep blue, but not thick enough to block the sunrise. The clock on my nightstand said it was just midnight. I’d barely been asleep at all.

What woke me? I looked around the room, then jumped halfway out of my bed when the door opened. A shadowy form filled the doorway. My heart pounded.

Robbers. Murderers. CVS reminding me to pick up a prescription.

But then the figure stepped through, and the faceless shape resolved into Ryder.

“Hey, are you awake?” he whispered.

“I am now.” I fumbled glasses onto my face as he approached. I could see him a little better with them on, but the light still wasn’t great. “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Ryder stopped at the edge of my bed. “I just couldn’t sleep, and I realized there’s something I need to tell you.”

My heart had only just started to calm down, but those words set it off all over again. No one wakes you up in the middle of the night to tell you something about kittens and rainbows.

Maybe he was just going to say he was leaving. Which was fine, absolutely fine. It was probably weird for me to offer for Ryder to stay over in the first place. Who was I, some kid who needed a life-sizedG.I. Joeto protect him?

But that was still better than Ryder thinking I’d asked him over in a sexual way. That would be mortifying. It didn’t help that he was standing right in front of me in just his boxers and a T-shirt, which only emphasized how insanely attractive—

“I owe you an apology,” Ryder said, cutting off the runaway train of anxiety spiralling through my skull.

“What? Why?”

“About Monday night, last week. Your other date. When I showed up and pretended to be your ex. That was shitty, and I shouldn’t have done it. I’m sorry.”

“Oh.” Relief washed through me. I’d been so worried about Ryder thinking I was a sexual predator that I hadn’t been ready for him to say anything else. “Oh, that’s fine.”

“Yeah, except it isn’t. I appreciate you being nice about it, and I promise my motives were pure. But I still fucked up your date.”

“It’s really okay.” Could he hear the relief in my laugh? “The date kind of sucked already. You probably did me a favor.”

“Really?” He sat on the edge of my bed, and I pulled my legs close to make room for him. “Because I’ve been feeling guilty about it for a while. I didn’t even realizewhyI felt bad until my friend Tessa—she’s—well, she said I was acting weird tonightand helped me figure out what was going on.” He lifted one knee and folded it on top of the blankets. “I was really happy when you texted tonight. I like you, Quinn. I’d like to be friends.”

“Oh,” I said again. I couldn’t quite catch my breath. “Yeah. I’d like that too.”

If I were being honest, I’d like a lot more than that. But I couldn’t confuse one night of Ryder being my pretend-boyfriend with him really being interested in me.

If only he hadn’t kissed me.

“Okay, cool.” He flashed me a quick grin in the darkness, but didn’t say anything else. He didn’t stand up to leave either. He just looked at his hands where they lay on his lap.

How was it possible that he couldn’t hear the thump of my heart in my chest? I didn’t want to push things. If Ryder did want to be my friend, improbable though that seemed, I should just leave things there and be happy.

Instead, I blurted out, “What were your motives?”

“Hmm?” Ryder looked up from his lap like I’d pulled him out of intense thought.

I already felt stupid for asking, but now he was staring at me, and I had to say something.

“You said your motives were pure. When you interrupted my date last week.” God, my chest felt so tight. “I was just wondering what they were?”

“Ah.” He made a face. I wondered if he was about to tell me I was being creepy.

It was just one kiss.One incredible kiss I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about since it happened, but still. Just one kiss. I needed to let it go.

Ryder laced his fingers together, curling and flexing them on repeat. “Well, like I said. I was trying to talk you up. You seemed so convinced, at your grandparents’ party, that no one would ever be into you.”

Because no one ever is, whispered that traitorous voice at the back of my mind.

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