Page 53 of Playboy For Hire

My phone dinged before I could finish the sentence.

“Check it, check it,” Violet urged.

My chest felt hot and tight. I slid my phone out and stared in shock. Ryder had responded.

RYDER: Sure, I can do that. Send me the deets.

Then he added a smiley face. My stomach turned a somersault.

“Look at that,” Thea said, beaming. “You have a date after all.”

I might have had a date, but I was in no way prepared for this brunch. It didn’t matter that I’d had two weeks to get ready. I still wasn’t prepared for the assault of grief, the barbed arrows to the chest that I felt every time Julie looked at Brandon lovingly, every time Brandon spoke to her like she was the only person who existed. I could hardly keep it together.

It didn’t help that Ryder was by my side. He was being charming and gracious, as usual. Not just to my family members, but to me. He hadn’t mentioned, hadn’t so much as hinted at the awkwardness between us. From the moment we’d met at the restaurant, he’d been nothing but easy smiles and casual conversation. The night between us might never have happened.

But now we were seated at this long table at Philodendron, a new restaurant on Mount Pleasant Street, across the table and four seats down from Brandon and Julie themselves. I wanted to hide under the table, wanted to crawl through people’s legs and get myselfoutof there. I knew Ryder could tell, even if no one else could, and the fact that he was being so kind to me made it worse.

“We’re planning on an October wedding,” Julie was saying to my parents. “Out in the Blue Ridge Mountains. There are some beautiful vineyards out there, and they’ll be perfect in the fall with all the leaves changing color.”

“We thought about a destination wedding,” Brandon said. “But then I pointed out how nice it would be if we could go back to our wedding venue on our anniversary, and show our kids once they’re old enough to understand.”

“Once wehavekids,” Julie said with a laugh, and then a squeal as Brandon leaned in and nuzzled her neck.

“Oh, we’ll definitely be having kids,” he said with a grin. “A whole bunch of them.”

“But not trying for any until after you’ve tied the knot, I hope,” said Julie’s mom, my Aunt Karen.

“Mom!” Julie sounded like an embarrassed thirteen-year-old.

“Of course not,” Brandon said smoothly. “We want to get established first. And we’ll have to find a house that meets our specifications.”

“I want a huge yard,” Julie said. “So I can host all the family reunions. And at least five bedrooms.”

“And a separate workshop,” Brandon added. “So I don’t have to bring my projects into the house.”

“He knows better than to leave all those wires and buttons lying around on the dining room table,” Julie said.

“It’s true. I can think of plenty of better uses for that table.” Brandon wiggled his eyebrows and kissed her again.

They were so cute, it was sickening. The more they talked, the shittier I felt. I should have been happy for Julie. I should even have been happy for Brandon, if this was what he really wanted. But I just wished…

I didn’t know what I wished. But I felt small and grubby. Brandon and I had been together for six months, but not once did he introduce me to anyone else in his life. I’d certainly never met his parents, who were sitting right next to Julie’s. He’d never once introduced me as his boyfriend, or even acknowledged that he was bisexual out loud.

And then he’d ended things, messily, meanly, and I still wasn’t over it. He’d said he didn’t see a future for us together. I wondered if he ever had, or if he knew from the beginning I was always going to be his little secret.

Ryder could tell I was being quiet, but he was doing his best to talk enough for both of us.

“Julie, I love your dress,” he said, leaning across the table conspiratorially. “You have to tell me where you got it.”

“Oh my god, thank you.” She brushed her hair back behind her ears. “It’s vintage DVF. I found it at this little boutique in Clarendon.”

“Cici’s Closet?” Ryder said excitedly. “I love them.”

“You’ve been there?”

“Girl, I practically live there. They have some great menswear finds. I’m there at least once a month.”

“We should go together sometime,” Julie said.

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