Page 59 of Playboy For Hire

“And I never said you were a disappointment,” she said. “I just mean that so often, you disappoint us.”

I almost laughed. I couldn’t have told you the difference between those two statements if you’d paid me a million dollars, but somehow, my mom thought there was one.

“We love you, Ryder, but you seem so determined to forget us up at that expensive school of yours. And I know you keep saying you don’t want to work the farm with your dad after graduation,but he’s put his whole life into this land and you’re spitting in his face. If I think that seems a little cruel, well, maybe I’m justified. But I guess you think you’re too good for us. Do you even have another job lined up?”

And there it was. It had taken a total of five minutes for my mother to remind me why I avoided going home. Ever since I was six, I’d known my parents wanted me to take over the family farm. And ever since I was six and one day, I’d known I didn’t want to.

I didn’t think the farm wasn’t good enough for me. It just wasn’trightfor me. I was happy my old classmates had gotten married and had kids, if that was what they wanted. But it wasn’t whatIwanted. My parents never seemed to understand that, though.

First, my dad had expressed his displeasure with silence, punctuated by bitter remarks about how I would never amount to much. But in the last year or so, it had turned into rants about how DC was turning me into a mindless automaton who needed to wake up and see The Truth. So…that was fun.

My mom expressed her displeasure by telling me to my face how much I disappointed the pair of them, and how much she wished they had other, better kids than me. But she wrapped her criticism up in nicer language, so somehow, I was supposed to be grateful for that.

I sighed. “Not yet. But I’ve got a few interviews scheduled.”

Okay, so that was a lie. But what was I supposed to say?No, because I’ve been blacklisted by every major consulting firm in the DC area, if not the country?

I hadn’t even figured out what to do about it myself, let alone what I was going to tell them.

“Don’t you think, if you were going to get hired, someone would have offered you a job by now?” my mom said, as though she could read my mind. “Are you sure you’re smart enough for one of those fancy jobs anyway?”

Great. Cool. Just the questions you want to hear your mother ask you. My mom knew my grades hadn’t been great in high school, but I hadn’t realized how firmly she’d reclassified me as ‘drooling idiot’ in her head.

“Because your father and I would always be happy to have you home.”

She might be happy—maybe—but my father wouldn’t. Then again, maybe he’d relish the chance to remind me of my failures, and to try to convince me that climate change was a government hoax perpetrated by evil scientists who controlled the weather.

“I appreciate it,” I said, trying to keep my voice pleasant. “Really, I do. But I don’t think it’s the right decision for me. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want—”

“It’s not about what I want,” she interrupted. “All I want is for you to be happy. I just can’t believe you would do this to your father. Right after the award ceremony? Don’t you want him to be proud of you? Or do you care about his feelings so little?”

“Ma, it’s not—” I broke off. “Wait, what award ceremony?”

“The Small Farmers of Northern Virginia’s medal for Barley Farmer of the Year. Didn’t I tell you?”

That was a mouthful. “No, you didn’t.”

“Oh, but that’s why I called. They’re giving out the awards next week, at a ceremony in one of those swanky hotels up there byyou. And I know he’d love for you to come. You can even bring a date—he was given three tickets. Or are you too busy to see us?”

This was the least appetizing offer I’d ever had, but I knew if I said no, I’d never hear the end of it. This was why I hated picking up when my mom called. It always led to a guilt-trip that made me feel like a horrible son.

“Yeah,” I said, biting back a sigh. “Yeah, that sounds great. I’d love to come.”

“Well, I never thought I’d hear you say that,” my mom said, disbelief audible in her voice. “Wait until I tell your father, he’ll think I’m lying. Our little boy has finally agreed to see his parents again.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to see you, I just—”

“Land sake’s, next thing you know, you’ll tell us you’re done with all this city nonsense and are ready to come home where you belong.”

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I agreed to one thing, and suddenly it meant I was moving home—so when I didn’t, I would break their hearts and get called an ungrateful snob all over again.

“Can you text me the details? I have to go.”

“Oh, look who’s too busy to talk to his mother. You know, I carried you in my own body for nine months. Sometimes I think you forget that. But that’s okay. I don’t need my child to acknowledge me, as long as he’s happy.”

“Ma, that’s not—”

“I’ll send you a text, sweetheart. I wouldn’t want to keep you any longer. Just remember, I’ll always love you, even if the feeling isn’t returned.”

---