Page 82 of Playboy For Hire

He looked at his hand, then back to me, and laughed, “Oh God, I didn’t even think.”

“It’s okay, it’s a good look.”

“Thank God you’re attracted to idiots.”

“You’re not an idiot. You’re just running experimental tests on the sustainability of bodily fluids as hair products.”

“Like I said—you’re attracted to idiots. Anyway, the point is, I don’t want to come until I’m inside you.”

I shivered again, and he must have seen it.

“Is that okay?” he asked.

“Totally. The only not okay part is that you’re not there yet.”

“Well, that can be fixed.”

He shifted off of me, and I sucked in my stomach at the feel of cool air on my body, now that his weight and warmth were gone.

“Here.” He took my leg and moved it on top of his, then slicked his fingers and brought them back to my hole. I gasped at the cold of the lube, and he shook his head, smiling. “God, you’re hot.”

I thought I might shiver the rest of the night, because Ryder kept flooding my body with new sensations. I’d spent my whole life thinking—knowing—that I was weird-looking. But when I was with him, just the two of us, naked and vulnerable like this, I could almost believe I was the man he saw.

He looked at me, a silent question in his eyes, and I nodded. He pushed his finger into me, and I sighed as it slipped inside, my body easing open to let him in.

“Fuck,” I whispered, closing my eyes for a moment. It had been a while since I’d been with anyone. Even longer since I’d been with someone I cared about. And even with Brandon, I’d never felt this comfortable in my own skin.

When I opened my eyes, I caught Ryder’s gaze and had to bite back the words on my lips.I love you.They appeared in my mind of their own accord, a fully formed thought emerging from my subconscious.

Was it true? Did I love him? I wasn’t supposed to. But looking into his eyes, I thought I might.

I pulled Ryder in for another kiss, smiling into it. I’d never say those words out loud. But it made me feel warm just to hold them in my heart. Ryder was good. And right now, Ryder was with me. I could let that be enough.

He worked his finger in and out, adding a second, then a third, as I relaxed. He was gentle, stretching me out gradually, until he could pump his fingers in and out without any pain, smooth and pleasurable.

“Fuck me,” I gasped.

“You sure you’re ready?”

“Never been more sure of anything in my life.”

“That’s my line.” Ryder kissed my cheek with the birthmark. “No stealing.”

“Uh oh.” I grinned at him. “Guess I need to learn a lesson about sharing. You’ll have to give me something of yours. Show me how it’s done.”

“Christ, I want to.” His voice was deep and thick with desire. “Just give me a second.”

He tore open the condom packet and rolled it onto his cock, then slicked it up with lube.

“What position do you want to be in?” he asked.

I smiled. “How do you want me? Because that’s what I want.”

He pressed me gently onto my back. “How about just like this? I want to be able to see you.”

This had never been my favorite position, to be honest. I felt like it made my stomach roll up, and gave me a double chin. But Ryder leaned in and kissed my other cheek.

“You’re perfect,” he whispered.

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