Page 97 of Playboy For Hire

“Just go, Brandon, okay? Just go and fucking leave me alone. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

He stared at me for a long moment, like he couldn’t quite believe what I was saying. Maybe he couldn’t. I had to admit, it was a big change. He was used to me begging him to stay.

Finally, he spoke. “So what does that mean for you and me?”

“It means we’re nothing. Which is what you always wanted people to think. So this time, at least, you’re not lying to people. Wearenothing. We’re done.”

His eyes narrowed. “Are you going to tell Julie?”

I pressed my lips together and thought. My immediate reaction was to say yes, of course I would. She should know she was marrying someone who was willing to cheat on her. Who’d already cheated on someone else in the past.

But telling Julie would mean outing Brandon. And as shitty as he was acting right now, I wasn’t sure I could bring myself to do that.

I’d come out early, in middle school. To my family first, and then to friends. It had gone pretty smoothly for me. But I knew that even today, coming out could still hurt your career, your reputation, your whole life, depending on who you surrounded yourself with.

“Are you going to keep trying to cheat on her?” I asked, my voice cold.

“What? No.” Brandon shook his head. “I would never do that.”

“You’re here,” I pointed out.

“But only because you and I have history. I would never—” He broke off, exhaling sharply. “No. I love Julie. And I respect her. I want her to have a good life. I wouldn’t make a mockery out of our marriage.”

I wasn’t sure I believed him. But I realized I didn’t actually have anything concrete to show Julie, if I told her about Brandon and me. He’d never let me take any pictures of us, when we were together. He’d barely even used his cell phone to communicate with me. And he’d been careful not to use it today.

If I told Julie about us, would she even believe me? Or would she just think I was jealous and bitter and trying to break-up her engagement? She’d ask Brandon, I was sure, and he would lie, I was equally sure. Which one of us would she believe, when push came to shove? I might end up creating a rift in our family.

In the end, unless I had proof Brandon was actually sleeping with someone else right now, it wasn’t fair to ruin Julie’s happiness. But I would be watching him like a hawk, and I reserved the right to change my mind.

“I really hope you mean that,” I told him.

“I do.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry. Coming here was a mistake.”

“Yeah. It was.”

“I’ll go. I’m sorry, Quinn. I really am.”

I said nothing. I had no apologies to offer in return. I just stood there and watched him walk away, watched his body grow smaller and smaller until he reached the end of the block, turned, and disappeared.

19

RYDER

Iarrived at the cream-colored door marked 3F and straightened my shirt anxiously. I knew I looked good. I was wearing a blue and white checked button-down and navy pants. The shirt emphasized my broad shoulders and looked casual but crisp. I was probably the only college student who dressed up when he didn’t have to, but it was worth it to know I looked good.

I shouldn’t be nervous. It was just Auntie Thea who I was meeting. She’d called me and asked me to come over and help her pick out a dress to wear to a dance at the senior center next week.

But it wasQuinn’sAuntie Thea. I’d felt unable to tell her no, but I was also dreading the possibility of running into Quinn. What if he decided to drop by while I was here?

I told myself it would be fine. Thea had no idea Quinn and I were together for real, so she could have no idea that we’d broken up, either. There should be no need for awkward explanations. But still, I was jittery.

Were Quinn and I ever really together? We’d never put a label on it. But no matter what I’d told him, I knew the truth. I’d been head over heels for him. I still was. But I wasn’t going to see him again, and that was a good thing.

Surely Thea would have told me if she’d planned on inviting Quinn over too. And surely Quinn would have objected if he didn’t want me to come. So the fact that neither of those things had happened should mean that today would go fine.

Should.

I took a deep breath and knocked.

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