Page 13 of She's My Kind Of Rain

“My ability to adapt. I believe that this field is ever changing, and because of that, I should be as well. If I see an opportunity to learn something new or a method I believe will be useful in this job, I will never hesitate to learn it inside and out so that I can not only utilize it myself, but also teach any team members what I know if it brings value to the company I work for.”

This time he doesn’t gesture or give me any kind of indication of what he’s thinking, he just continues. “What are your goals for the future?”

Any bit of confidence I have in my previous answers disappears, and my foot returns to a soft tap, luckily hidden by his desk. The question itself seems rather simple, yet in all the mock interviews my mom and I had gone through, never once did we consider a question like this. I break eye contact with him, not wanting him to see the fear of screwing this all up in my gaze. I consider saying I’m unsure, knowing that is, by far, the worst way to respond to any question during an interview I decide against it. I answer as truthfully as I can, even though I didn’t think about what my goals would be beyond getting this job.

“My goal for the future is to remain in the music industry, because that is where my heart and soul have always led me. I hope to acquire more talent, form connections that will better my ability and worth in this space, and continue to live my dream while helping grant others.”

He nods, placing one arm over his torso while reaching the other up to stroke his chin. He lets out a soft, “Hmm,” looking down at one of the pictures in front of him and then back up to me. “What do you feel sets you apart from everyone else in the room out there?” he asks, relaxing back into his brown leather chair and placing his arms down on the arm rests.

“Well, sir, to be honest, I don’t know any of the other applicants personally, so I can’t speak on their reasoning for being here or even on their ability to fulfill the position’s requirements. But what I can do is speak on what I know of myself. I grew up in a small town where there was not a lot to do. Extra curricular activities were narrowed down to sports and the arts, and if you didn’t fill one of those positions because of pure, born talent, you made it there because of your family name. Luckily, I was raised on love and music, and every bit of my heart has been singing a country tune since the day I was born.” I let out a breath, continuing, “My dad was a singer, one who had originally been asked to sign with this very label. He chose his family instead.” I look down, to avoid a crack in my voice or a tear to release from my eyes, and then return his stare. “Growing up, music didn’t leave my dad’s heart when he decided to give it up, but instead spilled over into mine. And I’m in this very chair because of that. I wasn’t sure if Wellington was closed for good, and I wasn’t willing to live without music long enough to find out.”

His silence feels deafening. I can’t tell if he liked my answer or even if he likes me in general. I try my best not to overthink it much beyond that. I did my best, and the rest is not up to me.

He clears his throat. “Thank you Daisy, I appreciate that answer.” Leaning forward, he says with a soft grin on his lips, “Now, Miss Daisy, when can you start?”

7

SAWYER - JUNE 18, 2004

I’ve spentthe last few weeks singing any song that plays on the radio no matter where I am to prepare for the day I find myself back on a stage. One great thing about being in Nashville is that more people than not enjoy country music and don’t mind hearing it all day long, but I’m fairly certain the crew is just as ready for me to hit the stage as I am.

Another good song comes on and I sing along, taking a moment to wipe the sweat as it drips down my face. “Fuck, it’s hot out today. How many damn windows are left?”

Rhett arches his back to check the number of windows leaning against the house we have been building, then steadies himself on the ladder next to me. “Only two more, then we can get the fuck out of here. It has to be at least 100 degrees. I’m sweatin’ head-to-fuckin’-toe. There ain’t no way I’m dyin’ doin’ somethin’ this damn borin’. Can’t believe I took a break from rodeos to be this miserable for a steady check.”

This is the first time I’m hearing about Rhett quitting anything in his life, and I’m so fucking hot I’m almost convinced I’m delusional. I go back to singing, trying to distract myself, more than one of my co-workers stopping to listen for a moment, before returning to whatever tasks they were assignedto do. A compliment or two comes from anyone new to the crew, who isn’t used to me singing while I work. It’s honestly the boost in confidence I’ve been needing. I receive some cat calls from the smart-asses who not only enjoy my singing, but also pushing my buttons. Fortunately, the ring leader is Rhett and they are well aware that taking it too far can land them right in his sights for social ridicule.

“So, I’ve been thinkin’ about this singin’ venture of yours and what our new plan should be movin’ forward.” Rhett clears his throat and I ready myself for whatever scenario he’s concocted and clearly excited to share. “Playin’ at The Westmore seems fine and dandy in theory, but everyone’s pushin’ for that dream, and if that doesn’t get them somewhere they give up. Plus, ya have to have an invitation and I don’t think anyone here listenin’ has that power. I mean, half of ‘em barely know how to tie their own laces.” He chuckles, wiping the sweat from his forehead, and continues, “I have no doubt you’ll get a spot on that stage, I just don’t think it needs to be our only focus. No matter where you’re at, or what ya do, I think ya need to have a bit of fun. It’s been a few weeks now, and ya literally sing everyday. So, I was wonderin’ if ya felt ready to sing at another spot? Cuz I think I found one you’re gonna like.”

His excitement is contagious, yet I still feel slightly hesitant. My gaze dips down, landing on my hands, I hadn’t even realized the white-knuckled hold I have on the ladder. Loosening my grip, I take a deep, steadying breath.

“I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little worried to feel confident moving forward and then have the same thing happen once I’m surrounded by strangers.” The memory of the night at Gator Ray’s still makes me a bit sick to my stomach.

His smile is soft and understanding.

“I get that, but I do think that Miss Nancy was onto somethin’. The place was alarmingly dirty and smelled like shitmasked with cigarette smoke. I’m willin’ to bet that if ya played somewhere clean and welcomin’ that it’d be different. I found a place I think ya might like. It’s called The Red Fern, and if I didn’t know any better I’d guess they hired your Pops to decorate the damn thing. Friday nights are scheduled performances. The owner was there when I stopped in and said he was happy to have ya, if you’d like. I took down his number and told ‘em I’d let ‘em know.”

He leans on his elbow, an exaggerated expression like he’s waiting for my response written all over his face.

I ponder what he said for a few minutes, going back and forth in my head on what the worst case scenarios could be. I didn’t like humiliating myself, however the factors this time will be different. Being aware of the performance alone means I can choose a song I’ve practiced, and if the place truly looks just like my house I can’t imagine any place feeling more comfortable than that. Rhett stops what he’s doing, waiting for my answer.

I let out a nervous but excited breath. “Honestly, what do I have to lose? When’s the slot?”

“Now that’s the spirit. And ya bet your sweet ass I already told him we’d take tonight’s slot at 8:30.”

We both laugh at his predictably eager behavior and I go back to singing along with the radio, excited that this time could be different.

I pull up to my house and park next to Rhett’s truck, flip the ignition off, and take a deep breath. The grueling heat from today’s sun has really taken a toll on me, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little nervous to sing on stage again. It’s not like these spots are a dime a dozen. Most people would kill for the opportunity. What if I’m not ready to perform in front of a crowd? I mean, I know I’m getting more confident, and I manage to sing in front of the guys no problem, but this will be different. Not to mention, I am performing early. Early enough that probably plenty of people in the crowd will be sober enough to remember my performance. I blow out a breath. Damn, I hope I don’t fuck it up, but thanks to Rhett I have that push I need to give it one last try. Without him, I probably never would have given this dream a shot.

I get out of the car and hear a whinny to my right. I turn to find Wrangler and Angel, Rhett’s horse, out in the pasture.

I think for a moment how grateful I am to be able to live in such a beautiful place. This property has it all, but most importantly it has my heart. I think back to the day Pops died sadness begins to stir in my chest. I glide my hand through my hair, like it will swipe away the feeling, but it does little to ease the pain that often lingers. But amidst the hurt is anotheremotion. Love. I think of the note he’d left, informing me about how he was leaving me the ranch. And as honored as I’d felt that he’d entrust something he loved so much to me, what stood out most were the words he’d written.

The place is yours, and don’t forget that a country road will always take you home.

A soft smirk forms on my face at the notion. I never thought too deep into it until now. Pops had always been one to put a line from a song into a lesson. I just thought the note was an ode to the fact that the ranch was, in fact, in the country and it was my home. But, in this moment, I realize that isn’t what he was saying at all. Even from the grave, Pops is still amazing me with his ability to know what I need even before I do. He knew I loved this place and he knew I loved that song, yet he wasn’t saying the ranch was home, he was saying the music was.

I take one last look at the beauty that surrounds me then head straight inside to get ready to perform tonight. A new energy pulses through me, along with an excitement I haven’t felt in a while.

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