Page 63 of Forced Marriage Vows

“You know we’re doing this whole marriage thing backwards, right?” Anastasia questions. “We’re essentially dating right now, and then what?”

“Anything you want, baby,” I answer.

“I’m glad we’re here now, but a part of me wishes we’d had a normal experience. And there’s still so much about you I don’t know. For example, I have no idea if you want to have kids. Are babies in our future?”

I pause. That came so far out of left field.

“Where’s this coming from?” I murmur, looking into her eyes.

“I’m just curious. Come on, tell me. Have you ever thought about having a baby?”

I grow a little tense. “Of course I’ve thought about it. But I didn’t exactly grow up having model parents, and I don’t think I’ve ever been around any good parents who could have given me an insight into what to expect. You haven’t either,solnyshko.”

A shadow passes across her eyes. “What are you saying? We’re too damaged to have children?”

“No. I’m saying I might be. You’re filled with so much light, baby. You’d make a great mother.”

Her eyebrows furrow. “I don’t understand what you’re saying, Mikhail. Do you want kids or not?”

“I want whatever you want,” I reply easily, deciding that’s the best answer.

The thought of having children terrifies me. But I’d be willing to do it, as long as I have her by my side.

My answer seems to have been the wrong thing to say, however. Anastasia frowns, pulling away.

“It’s not about what I want, Mikhail. You have to want it too. A relationship is meant to be a partnership. We’re supposed to share things we each other.”

“We do,” I grit out.

“Really? Because you’re an expert on avoiding talking about yourself. You push and prod and get me to open up but you don’t offer me the same grace.”

“I’ve told you things about myself I’ve never told anyone else, Anastasia.”

“Maybe, but you’ve never told me the most important thing. Your mother—how did she die?”

My eyes fall shut and I rub a fist across my jaw. This conversation is giving me whiplash. When I open my eyes, she’s still standing in front of me, her arms crossed over her chest, her expression combative.

“Why are we talking about my mother right now? And why the hell are you mad at me?”

“I’m not,” she retorts.

“You’ve been itching for a fight since I came to find you, Anastasia. Does this have something to do with what you’re hiding from me?”

“What? No! I just want to believe this relationship means more to you than just a warped sense of duty to a wife who never wanted to be with you in the first place!”

Silence descends at the end of that statement.

“If you really believe this means nothing to me, then I don’t know what the fuck we’re doing here, Anastasia,” I say, my jaw clenched.

She doesn’t say a word as I leave, unwilling to say anything more just in case I say something I’ll regret.

CHAPTER 19

Anastasia

I’m the type of person to look a gift horse in the mouth. Leah said that to me once. She said I didn’t know how to trust something that feels too good to be true. I get defensive and a part of me starts to believe that I don’t deserve it.

It’s why half of my previous relationships ended. Because I was scared, because I’d rather push them away before they inevitably hurt me. It’s like an illness, and I can recognize the signs. They creep up on me until I have no choice but to acknowledge them.

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