Page 44 of Fix You

“Maeve, please,” Rafe begged.

Throwing my head back, I screamed up at the night sky glittering with stars. “LEAVE ME!”

After a ragged sigh, Rafe’s footsteps began to echo across the marble floor as he walked away.

I don’t know how long I remained there on my knees, weeping into the potted plant that smelled of my vomit. Murphy appeared at my side. Jumping on my shoulder and licking me. But I ignored him.

“Maeve?” Mam questioned softly.

Slowly, I lifted my head to stare up at her face–her expression etched with concern. “Oh myroisin, what happened? Did someone else–” A shudder ran through her.

I shook my head. “No one tried to rape me.”

She eased down beside me. Brushing away the tear-stained strands of my hair, she asked, “Oh my love, tell me what happened.”

“I just wanted a kiss to be a normal woman,” I moaned.

Mam furrowed her brows at me. “You kissed someone?”

“He said I was unlike any woman he’d ever met.”

At the look on Mam’s face, I shook my head. “No, it wasn’t like that with him. He wasn’t giving me a line just to get into my pants. More than anything, he fought against kissing me.” The corner of my lip quirked up. “But he wanted to make a bet to see me dance.” Staring into Mam’s eyes, I said, “I was the one that changed the bet to where I could get a kiss.”

“But how did a kiss turn into this, my love?”

As Oisin’s sneering face flashed before my eyes, my stomach lurched, and I heaved into the pot again. Mam rubbed my back and muttered prayers. When I finally stopped, I fell over onto the marble floor, completely spent by the physical onslaught of my emotions.

With my face against the cool marble, I murmured, “It was the most beautiful moment of my life. His kiss was everything. The feel of his hands on my body was a rebirth.”

“And then you thought of your rape, and it ruined everything,” Mam said softly.

I turned my head to gaze up at her. “How did you know?”

She swiped the tears that streaked down her face. “Because I’ve been right where you are,roisin. I fancied myself in love with a man while I was married to your father.”

As I pulled myself into a sitting position, I stared wide-eyed at Mam. “You did?”

“Don’t act as if I wasn't a right feek back in my day,” she teased through a hiccupped cry.

A welcomed laugh tumbled from my lips. “You’re still a stunning woman, Mam.”

“Faolán certainly thought I was. He was your father’s right hand back in those days when the older boys were just toddling about.” A faraway look entered her eyes. “He was the only man to ever really look at me. And by that, I mean the marks yourfather left on me. He would treat them with medicine. We grew very close.”

“And he kissed you?”

“Aye, he did. Like you, I wanted it more than anything in the world.” A lone tear trailed down her cheek. “And like you, it was the most beautiful experience of my life. Until I saw your father’s face before me. And I lost it.”

“Just like me.”

Her gaze focused in on mine once again. “Yes, my love.”

“How did Faolán react?”

“Very apologetic and very understanding. But he never tried to kiss me again.”

“He didn’t?”

Mam shook her head. “A few months later your father said he was getting too familiar with me and the boys. He shipped him off to work with my family in Dublin.”

---