Page 62 of Fix You

There were so many things I wanted to say at that moment.I’m so fucking sorry, Maeve. I’m sorry I was a selfish prick whowasn’t completely honest with you. I’d give anything to be able to take this pain, this humiliation away from you.

Instead, I saved face and replied, “Thank you. It’s very new considering we just signed the contract a few months ago.”

Maeve jerked her head in acknowledgement before staring down at her lap. As the others peppered me with questions about the Carusos, Maeve’s shoulders caved in, and it appeared she was fighting a losing battle to keep her emotions in check.

Ever the angel she was, Caterina gave her an out by asking her to help bring in some of the desserts. Without a look in my direction, Maeve shot out of her chair and hurried out of the dining room.

An eternity seemed to pass before Caterina returned carrying a tray filled with cake plates, but Maeve wasn’t with her. When she offered me a piece, I cocked my brows at her. “Outside,” she whispered before turning to offer a piece to Eamon.

After swiping my mouth with my napkin, I rose out of my seat. When I locked eyes with Callum, I said, “Bathroom is on the left, right?”

“Aye.”

Nodding, I then headed out of the dining room. Instead of going to the left, I went to the right to the kitchen. After I went out the door, I gazed around the backyard for Maeve. She had her back to me. Without a coat, she shivered in the cold.

At the sight of me, Murphy barked and ran towards me. When Maeve turned around, her face fell. “What are you doing out here?”

“Can I please talk to you?”

“What is there to say to me that you can’t in front of the others?”

“The first being I'm sorry you had to find out about my wedding like that.”

Shrugging, she replied, “It’s not like I didn’t know you were going to marry someone else.” With a rueful smile, she added, “I just had no idea when you were dancing with me and kissing me that you were already engaged.”

“It was wrong of me not to tell you that night.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because I’m a bastard to women. I always have been,” I flippantly replied.

“That’s a lousy excuse. Tell me the truth,” she countered.

With a shrug, I replied, “Because I didn’t want it to be real. My father arranged it on the pretense of strengthening our ties to find Caterina. Considering his behavior of late, I’m sure it had more to do with us gaining power. In the end, she means nothing to me.”

“Just like me,” Maeve murmured.

Shaking my head, I argued, “That’s not true! You don’t know how much I’ve worried about you over the last few months.”

“Because of my rape.” It was more of an accusation than a statement.

“Yes, of course.”

Maeve pinned me with a hard look. “If I hadn’t reacted the way that I did that night, would you have given me a second thought?”

I slanted my brows at her. “What are you trying to say?”

As tears pooled in her eyes, she bit down on her bottom lip. “That all you see when you look at me is a victim.”

“That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?”

“While I understand your reaction now, I still see you exactly as I did before.”

“No, you don’t.” she swiped the tears escaping from her eyes. “When you looked at me at the reception and on the rooftop, itwas with desire and lust.” She hiccuped a cry. “Now you look at me with pity and regret.”

“How can I not look at you that way? You experienced something so horrific I can’t even begin to wrap my head around. I would have to be the biggeststronzoever if I didn’t pity your experience.”

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