Page 64 of Fix You

Regret filled her face. “How could you know?” She gave a slight shake of her head. “You were just trying to find a way to help me, and I do appreciate that. But it doesn’t change how I feel…about the gift and everything else.”

“Maeve, I–”

“Do us both a favor, Rafe, and leave me alone.”

Although I wanted to force her to stay at my side, I let her swipe past me. As I watched her retreating form, I couldn’t remember a time when I felt so completely and totally helpless.

Chapter Twelve: Maeve

As I scratched Murphy’s full belly, my focus remained on the time reflected on my Kindle screen. After dinner when everyone had adjourned to the living room, I’d pretended to be enthralled in my book. In truth, my mind was too scattered to focus on the words.

After the lunch fiasco with Rafe, I’d spent the rest of the afternoon hidden in my room. My emotional turmoil had exhausted me to the point where I slept on and off for the remainder of the day. Every time I’d wake up, Rafe’s engagement or the necklace would flash in my mind. It was too much for me to even process so I’d drown out the images with thoughts of the ocean.

But this morning I woke up with a renewed sense of purpose about taking control of my sexuality. While the original plan had crashed and burned with Rafe at the wedding reception, I’d let too much time pass. With every minute and every hour that I continued to remain untouched, I allowed Oisin to reign over me.

The plan was simple: I would sneak out and go to one of Boston’s nightclubs. While I wouldn’t be going home with a man, I fully intended to let him put his hands and mouth on my body. In my mind, I saw it working best with a stranger who I never had to see again. I’d had just enough wine at dinner to relax me, yet I was still sober enough not to be aware of my surroundings.

Thankfully, the others seemed occupied enough to let me slip away. There was only one bodyguard on duty to give the others some time with their families for the holidays.

Across from me at a makeshift table, Callum and Quinn were teaching Caterina and Leo how to play the Irish card game, Twenty-Five while Mam sat beside the crackling fire nipping back some whiskey and knitting booties for Callum and Caterina’s yet-to-be-conceived baby. While Caterina had blushed when Mam had told her who the knitting was for, Callum had rolled his eyes and claimed they’d only been married four months.

As for Dare, Kellan, and Eamon, they’d left earlier in the day to visit some of our cousins outside of Boston and wouldn’t be returning tonight, so I wouldn’t have to worry about them screwing up my plan. It seemed the Neretti brothers wouldn’t be an issue either. Gianni had his head buried in his laptop, and I’d assumed Rafe had gone out since he hadn’t come into the living room after dinner.

Since yesterday, we’d been involved in a dance of avoidance. If he saw me in a room, he wouldn’t enter it and vice versa. We’donly come in contact with each other again at dinner, which thankfully Caterina sat beside me to where we could talk easily. I wouldn’t totally be at ease until they went back to New York tomorrow.

When the antique clock over the mantle chimed ten, I stretched my arms over my head and yawned rather theatrically. “I think I’ll head up to bed.”

Mam’s brows furrowed. “Now? But the night is still young.”

I laughed. “I’m still catching up from all the sleep I lost during exams.”

Callum glanced up from his cards. “Don’t be a langer. Let me deal you in for the next hand.”

“No. I really just want to go to bed.”

When he and Quinn exchanged a concerned look, I rolled my eyes. “Don’t be dramatic. I just want to rest.”

Quinn winked at me. “All right, Mae. I suppose anyone who earns all A’s deserves to rest their brain.”

With a laugh, I replied, “Thanks.”

When I rose off the couch, I fought the urge to sprint out of the room and up the stairs. Instead, I took my time, so I wouldn’t raise suspicion. Once I got upstairs, I locked myself into Kellan’s bedroom.

Immediately, I hurried into the bathroom and once again locked myself in. Then I got to work making myself club-ready. I did my makeup more intensely than I usually wore it and put waves into my hair.

When I was finished, I went to the back of Kellan’s closet. Among his dress shirts and pants, I’d hidden an outfit behind my other clothes. The sparkly emerald dress was strapless and barely covered my ass. No one who saw me would have any doubt what I was seeking at the club. After I slipped it on, I paired it with slinky back heels that I threw into my purse.

As I stared at my reflection in the mirror, I did a double-take. The woman before me wasn’t broken and damaged. She oozed confidence and sex appeal. Any man would want to dance with her…to kiss her and touch her.

Tonight I would leave the final parts of the Old Maeve in the past.

Turning from the mirror, I then made my way over to the nightstand. I grabbed the burner phone I'd shipped to the house. If I was discovered missing, I knew my brothers would try to track me with my phone.

After ordering an Uber, I threw the burner into my purse. I then donned my robe. I needed to wear it until I got out of the house in case I ran into anyone. Even though I hated to mess my hair up, I put the hood up in case anyone saw me and wondered why my hair was done up and I was wearing glitter eyeshadow at ten o’clock at night.

I stuck my purse in my robe under my armpit. As quietly as I could, I unlocked the door. Cracking it slightly, I surveyed the empty hallway. I then sprinted down the carpet as fast as I could to the back staircase.

With my chest heaving from both my exertions and nerves, my heartbeat pounded in my ears as I hurried down the stairs. When I got to the doorway, the kitchen was bathed in shadows. Tiptoeing across the floor, I then cracked the door.

---