Page 65 of Her Blood Revenge

‘I still feel like me,’ she says. ‘As I spoke to her, I wasn’t tempted by the darkness so much that I couldn’t control myself. I just… she got in before I couldprotect myself. Next time, I’ll be ready.’

‘There isn’t going to be a next time, Pix!’ I snap. ‘You know how dangerous it is for you to use your blood magic! She got inside you with ease. You forget that she was a powerful and talented blood witch who had skills beyond your comprehension.’

‘I know. I just…’ She lets out a breathy sigh and looks back up at the stars. Confusion etches across her face. ‘Archie. What’s Renatus?’ she asks.

I shake my head.

‘I have no idea. Why?’

‘When I reanimated her, I asked her what Neve might be planning. She smiled and said… “Renatus”.’ She blinks and looks away, shaking her head.

I guide her face back to mine.

‘What else did she say, Pix?’

‘She said that when she returns, she’ll skin me alive and wear me as a coat as she makes love to you.’

Fucking tears spring to my eyes. Tears!

‘She did that,’ she whispers. ‘To your sister.’

‘You saw that?’

‘Glimpses.’

I swallow against the tightening of my throat.

‘How could you ever stay with a woman who did that to you?’

‘I refused to obey her at first,’ I tell her. ‘No matter what she did to me, I didn’t care. She had slaughtered my pack.’ I shrug. ‘I had nothing left. Or so I thought. She brought out my sister. She had made her shift and refused to let her go back as a girl. For weeks, Sinthia had played withher. Looked after her. Fed her. She treated her well, and my sister loved her. She hadn’t seen what had happened to the pack. She didn’t even know they were dead, and Sinthia was very playful and fun when she wanted to be.’ The pain of this is agonising, but how Pix looks at me gives me the courage to speak. ‘When she was still in her pup form, Sinthia stabbed her in front of me and skinned her as she died.’ My words become a whisper. ‘Her little whimpers…’

My eyes close as if that might help me rid myself of the memories. All that does is give the images more life.

Pix strokes my cheek. I decide looking at her is easier than the darkness.

‘Sinthia wore her pelt for years. She never took it off. How could I have loved Sinthia? The truth is, I don’t know. I don’t think I did. She could show the most intense cruelty, Pix. Have you in the dirt and wishing for death, all the while, she was gentle and sweet and soft. She would make you scream, and she would giggle like an excited child. And then she would show such kindness and love. Utter devotion. When she looked at me, I was all there was. And she made certain she was all I had, too. As long as I did what she wanted, she wouldn’t hurt me or those I cared about. And her blood. Your blood. It’s like a drug. It connects me to my power. To my wolf. To my pack. And when I’m connected, I feel them again. I feel that deep sense of belonging and home. Without her blood, I was empty. So fucking empty. But with it, I was strong and whole. I wasn’t alone. Over the years, the pain of the past became so small compared to everything else. I would gladly take the small peace she offered rather than drown in the darkness she created.’ I take a breath. ‘Does that make sense?’

‘It does. I know what you mean completely.’

‘Is that whatI am to you?’ I ask, wiping the blood from her face. ‘Am I peace in the darkness I create?’

‘A little, maybe. At first. But I meant my father. Not you. He’d beat me half to death and spend weeks taking care of me. He would belittle me and then give me a book I had mentioned I wanted in passing, showing me he was always listening and thinking of me. I was used to the cruelty. And I craved the kindness.’

‘I’m sorry I broke your nose.’

‘I’m sorry I gave you a blowjob when I was possessed by your ex.’

We both look up at the stars once more.

‘I dreamt about them,’ she says.

‘About what?’

‘Them.’ She leans in close and points up to the sky. I follow to the tip of her finger as she points out a series of stars. ‘That cluster of stars will soon align and mark the beginnings of Athir’s celebration. A two-day festival marking the end of summer and the start of his winter. I would say it’s a day or two away.’

‘Athir. Your earth god, right? The celebration is tomorrow night,’ I tell her.

‘You know the constellations?’

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