Page 85 of Her Blood Revenge

‘I’m not.’

She shakes her head.

‘How can I trust you?’

‘Because I love you!’

She recoils, like I’ve just said something grotesque. ‘Stop saying that to me.’

‘I will keep saying it because I do.’

‘You’re fated to blood magic. And no wonder. It brought you to life. You served it for fuck knows how long as you tortured the souls of blood witches and then spent centuries killing them in this realm. You don’t love me. You’re no better than an addict craving my blood, seeking the peace it gives you from the torment of the souls you killed. You don’t even know me!’

‘Really?’ I scoff. ‘You think I don’t know you? Then ask me a question, Ashe Nectan. Anything you fucking want, and see if I don’t know the answer.’

She turns to walk away.

I pull on her claiming mark, and she spins on her heel.

‘THIS!’ she yells, rain mixing with tears and blood. ‘This is why you do not love me. Because you own me and refuse to let me go! You can not love something if you own it!’

‘And you own me!’ I roar, my shadows bristling at my back. ‘You fucking own me in every way one person can own another! My soul claws at my flesh toescape these mortal confinements, purely to feel the warmth of your skin. My head is filled with your needs and wants, banishing my own to a void. Your voice drowns out the dark thoughts. My body fits yours in a way that is beyond logic, and my heart beats your goddamned name in my chest.’ My fist thumps against my ribcage as I hear it even now. ‘It pounds in my ears every fucking minute of every fucking day. Every beat belongs to you and you alone. And when you’re not close, I burn. I literally burn. All I am demands you to be close, and when you are, I am at peace. I am whole.’ The words are getting strangled by all these damned emotions I have no want of. All this fucking weakness she has created in me. I break free of the vines and storm up to her with such speed that she backs away. Her back hits a tree, and my fist strikes the bark by her head. She flinches as bits rain down on her. But her wide eyes remain fixed on mine. My face is in hers. Her hair moves as I breathe. ‘If your version of love is letting you go, then I do not want nor need it. I will keep my love as I see fit. I will covet you as I wish. And I will fucking own you because you own me just as much. You refuse to let me be the dark monster I was born to be. You deny me the freedom to exist in a world where I can live without you. So you will not be granted the agony of my releasing you into a world where you are not loved. Where you are not safe. Where you are not worshipped and fucked and devoured by a body and soul you saw fit to save!’ I grab the chain around her neck and snap it, letting it fall to the ground as nothing more than a metal chain. The magic of it is gone, and she is free of that bond. I then place her hand around my throat. ‘Your price for freedom is my death. Pay it and be gone.’

‘I… I have to kill you?’ she whispers.

‘When I see your back as you walk away from me, the shadows will take over. They will tear you apart and keep you for themselves.’ I tighten her grip on me, and I know I mean every word. ‘I refuse to be haunted by you, so if you leave, kill me first.’ I lower my hands and close my eyes. ‘I will not stop you. Do it and free me of this fucking torture. DO IT, WITCH! I will not endure another moment of your hatred and your pain. Of you suffering when all we want to do is fucking love you!’

She pushes me off her and slams her fist into my face. Before I can right myself, she hits me again, screaming as she does. Blood fills my mouth as I fall to my knees. My doll stands over me, her fists clenched as she looks down at me, her entire body a trembling mess as she takes in deep breath after deep breath.

‘You tore out my fucking heart!’ she cries, her voice shaking just as much as the rest of her. ‘I trusted you. I actually trusted you. I never trusted anyone, but then you came, and you saved me from marrying Cole. From being killed by my coven. From living with the self-loathing and disgust they forced on me. You took me and made me feel wanted and protected. You made me feel strong and powerful. But when you put me in that circle, you tore my heart out, Dorian.’ She rests her bleeding knuckles on her chest. ‘You left me with a gaping wound. I’m spewing blood, and you stand there, angry at me for dying of the wound you all inflicted on me!’

Her hand slams into her chest as she struggles to keep herself from bursting into tears. I can’t tell if they’re angry or desperately sad.

Her lip trembles, and her eyes slowly close. Her entire body slumps as she beats her palm against her chest, and when she lifts her gaze again, I know for sure.

She’s desperately sad.

No.

She’s heartbroken.

‘You were the first people in my life to offer me a home. To allow me to exist in my own skin. To allow me to live without shame as I gave into my desires. You took me from my coven and gave me something I had never had.’ Her lip trembles. ‘You gave me somewhere to belong. And when I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could be worthy of belonging to another in a way beyond possession and obedience and magic, you dragged me into your cells, forced me to do magic so dark I died, and you stood by as I suffered. And I suffered. I died for days. I screamed for days. I was hung. Cut. Crushed.’

‘Don’t,’ I whisper, loathing the words. The pain in them. The agony through the link I made with her.

‘Every time I relive it, the only faces I see are yours. Your faces. The faces of the men I love, and now I can’t trust a single thing you say nor a single thing you do. And you grow so hateful towards me because I can’t fix the hurt you inflicted, despite the fact that I would love nothing more than to forgive it! To forgive you! To love you without being so afraid. Driving a knife through my heart would be easier than feeling the way I feel.’

For the first time in my long and bleak life, I feel my throat tighten. I feel the hot sting of tears.

‘You…’ I swallow and narrow my eyes. ‘You love us?’

She blinks, her mouthparted as she realises what she just admitted to. She shakes her head, horrified by her admission.

‘I don’t love you.’ Her words are a terrified whisper. ‘I don’t love anyone, and you do not love me.’

She steps around me and starts to leave.

I won’t allow her to walk away from those words. Now they have been spoken, I will never let them die. I will never let her go. I will never let her exist unless she does so with me. I will be in her life. In her bed. In her body. In her very soul. For the rest of time.

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