Page 23 of Our Dark Winter Wish

I want to feel safe when they lie atop me.

But that all seems so far out of reach.

I take a deep breath and sink beneath the water's surface, hiding from the fact that I may never achieve this.

Because greater than all of that, I never want them to look at me with pity and as though I’m some delicate creature to be coddled and protected.

As I lie beneath the water's surface, I see the unmistakable silhouette of a dark shadow with great wings sneakily swoop over my head.

Slowly, I return to the surface, the top of my head poking out of the water, just in time to see the edges of his robes disappear behind the largest of the trees surrounding us.

I swim out of the water as silently as I can. He’s so fixated on the water, waiting for me to reappear, that he doesn’t notice me sneaking up behind him. His great fingers grip the broad trunk as he slowly risks a peek around it.

I reach up on tiptoes to tap him on his shoulder, and the great beast goes rigid before slowly turning to find me smugly smiling behind him with my hands cupped behind my back.

‘You know, you’re a giant creature of shadow with huge wings. The forest is a blanket of white. If you wanted to sneak around and watch me, it's probably best you stayed in your other form. And even then…’ I pick out a twig from his cloak. ‘You’re hard to miss, Dorian.’

He turns to face me fully. My head tilts right back so I can hold his gaze, and the tips of my wet hair go past my bare backside. And all the while, I cannot stop smirking.

‘Aren’t you supposed to be catching a turkey for our Christmas dinner?’

‘And aren’t you supposed to be knitting me a napkin? Why are you running around out here on your own without telling us?’

‘I just wanted some air,’ I reply.

‘Then come with us to catch the turkey. That’s plenty air enough.’

‘I wanted some air alone, Dorian,’ I correct, making it clear.

‘Are we such bad company?’

‘No. Of course not!’ I insist. ‘I just want to catch my breath and organise my thoughts. That’s all.’

‘What thoughts?’

I raise my brow.

‘I already have Archie hearing my thoughts, Shaw in my dreams, and you feeling my every feeling. Sometimes, I like to just be on my own. Did you seriously think I wouldn’t see you?’ I laugh.

‘You hadn’t before,’ he replies, his voice an ethereal darkness that rumbles from his chest. He lowers his hooded head slowly, revealing his ancient form beneath. ‘I’m very sneaky when I want to be.’

I reach up and rest my palm on his cheek. His skin shimmers like oils on water, and I will never tire of it. He is so fucking beautiful.

Even though most others would scream in terror at his presence, I find him something worthy of worship.

He leans into my touch, lowering his head a little so I don’t have to stretch so far.

‘Do you follow me often?’ I ask.

‘Can I lie to spare my dignity?’

‘No lies. You know the rules.’

‘Yes. I follow you often. Whenever you think you have run alone, I have been right behind you. Watching.’ He sweeps the hair from my face with his elongated finger.

‘Every time?’ My smile falters. ‘You have followed meevery time?’

He nods. I pull back a little. ‘That’s not fair.’

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