Page 29 of Our Dark Winter Wish

The sound of squelching as my hand emerges from the turkey makes me grimace. But I need to get outside. I need to find Shaw. When I pull my hand free, the turkey’s guts slip through my fingers and land on the floor with a disgusting splat.

A cold finger trails down my neck, and soft lips settle on my cheek.

‘Hello, Puppy,’ a soft whisper coos in my ear.

My heart starts to hammer so hard it hurts, and everything spins wildly around me. Before I can register it, I’m on my hands and knees, crawling towards the front door. Beyond the sound of my blood pounding in my ears, Sinthia’s whispers continue as if coming from inside my skull.

‘Do you remember when I gutted your family and friends, Puppy? Whentheirentrails slithered to the floor? Do you remember how we made love as we slipped and slid around their mess?’

I crawl, my throat all but closed as I fail to take in any air. My eyes remain focused on the front door. I need to get to Shaw!

I’m going to die. I’m going to die, and she’s waiting for me. I’ll be trapped with her forever with no escape. She’s clawing at me from beyond the grave and will never let me go.

The edges of my vision start to blur as I suffocate. And my heart thumps so hard I expect to see it explode through my ribcage any second and land on the floor with a hollow thud to join the rest of the entrails scattered about me.

The door opens, and Shaw steps inside. He sees me and drops the pile of logs he has cradled in his arms. In a second, he’s onhis knees and lifting me up, panic clear on his face as he grips my head.

‘Archie, breathe! You gotta focus on your breathing!’

I can’t! There’s no airway. No space in my lungs. She’s stolen it all and filled it with the nothingness she created in me. The blackness and emptiness.

‘I shouldn’t have left. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I’m right here, brother. And so are you. Sinthia isn’t here. It’s in your head.’ Shaw rests his forehead on mine as I try with all I have to get my shit back under control.

My head knows she’s not here. But try telling the rest of me!

‘Breathe with me, Arch,’ he says softly, resting his palm over my heart. He feels its ferocity and blinks. ‘Breathe with me,’ he repeats in a slow calm.

We kneel facing one another, surrounded by guts, and I try to regain control.

All of me is trembling and tears are falling freely down my cheeks.

‘I’ve got you, Arch. I’m right here, and Pix and Dorian will be here soon, too. And we can tell them how we caught the turkey. Tell them how we found a beehive full of honey and a patch of wild parsnips.’

My chest eases as I stare into his eyes as though my very life depends on it. And he never falters. He doesn’t blink or let me go. He stays precisely where he is, holding me and helping me. I claw at his shirt and plead with him.

Help me! Help me!

He looks on helplessly as I suffer another attack of this unyielding panic and pain. I’m lost to an avalanche of dread and sheer terror. Because now I have something I won’t survive losing. I have love and peace. What if I lose it? What if I’m left alone? What if I have to suffer the agony of watching them die? Again!

Their bodies fell all at once, and I was left alone.

That’s when I hear her. That’s when she comes, with her soft touches and sweet whispers. My tormentor. The killer of all I have ever held dear. The woman who slaughtered my pack and used me as she wanted.

The woman who-

Shaw slams his lips onto mine, landing me with a determined kiss right on the mouth.

I blink in shock as he holds my head in place so I can’t move or react, and when he lets go, he makes a huge smacking sound, dramatising it so it makes as much noise as possible. It echoes off the stone and wood, repeating over and over.

‘Bet you didn’t see that coming, did ya?’ he says, chuckling warily as he looks at the hand he has rested over my heart. ‘I hope that worked because I’m not kissing anything else.’

I take a shuddering breath that ends in a hiccup.

‘Take a deep breath for me, Arch. Say something.’

Another inhale before I speak.

‘When did you eat cranberries?’ I ask, picking at my teeth. He slaps me on my shoulder and shakes his head. ‘Try some tongue next time. Poor Pix, if that’s what she gets from you.’

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