Page 2 of Succeeding Love

“I’ll tell them,” he said levelly, watching me with a wary expression as I got to my feet.

I nodded, the forced smile frozen in place. If I drop it, I’ll break down again, which I’m not willing to do. Not yet.

“If you’ll excuse me. I’m just…. Just going to collect myself before they get here.”

I proceeded without waiting for his reply. Rushing to the bedroom we have shared for the past thirteen years, I found myself in a hurry, ever since Nick landed his current job at the firm. I don’t know how I would sleep in here now. This room held all the most intimate memories of me and him.

I went into the bathroom, Kevin following me behind, then shut the door before falling to the floor. I hugged my armsaround Kevin’s neck, bawling into his fur. With Kevin, I let myself come undone.

~

“Are you serious right now?” Preston asked, his face red like he was ready to fight. “How could you do this to mom?!”

“You’re leaving us?” Jessie asked through tears with a shaking voice, hugging a pillow to her chest. I wanted to go to her, to comfort her, but Nick should be the one to do it. I mentally urged him to be the one to step up. She fears being abandoned, and stepping in when it’s his place to reassure her he’s not would make him look worse to them.

“No, sweetie.” Nick leaned forward on the ottoman where he was sitting, wrapping his arms around our daughter’s shoulders. “I’ll still see you just as much as I do now.”

“But you won’t be here with us,” she wailed, clinging to his shirt.

“No, but I won’t be far. You can come stay with me when you want to.”

“You and your whore,” Preston scoffed.

“Preston,” I scolded, giving him a disapproving look. “Be respectful”

“She’s sleeping with a married man! If that’s not a whore, then what is?!”

“Come on, Pres.” The tightness in Nick’s eyes was the look he got when he was holding back his anger. And these two were already on thin ice. I didn’t want their fragile relationship to shatter.

“None of this is Arlene’s fault,” I said, trying to be the voice of reason. It really wasn’t Arlene I should blame for the affair. I’m not married to her. What’s done can’t be taken back, so there is no use in blaming anyone right now.

“You’re right,” Preston nodded, then glared at his father. “It’s yours.”

Nick opened his mouth, but I beat him to it before he could say something he would regret.

“It’s not your father’s fault, either. It’s no one’s fault. We just….. we just fell out of love. It happens,” I smiled sadly. “It’s a testament to why you don’t marry young. People change so much just from the time they graduated high school to the time they turn thirty. Your father and I naively married my first year in college, so we were bound to grow apart. Wouldn’t you rather we be happy than stay together and be miserable?”

Preston’s eyes turned red, filling with moisture as he looked to the ceiling. “Mom, you always make excuses for dad. I’m tired of it. You can’t excuse cheating.”

My sweet son. Preston was truly my first love, and it breaks my heart to see his pain. Being nineteen when I had him, that being the real reason I married so young, I didn’t know what love truly was until I saw Preston’s little face after the nurses laid him on my chest.

“I’m sorry, Preston,” was all Nick said, still with that sour look on his face.

“Whatever,” Preston stood up from the couch, walking off towards the stairs. “Happy birthday, mom,” he yelled out before heading up.

Nick’s eyes went wide as he slowly turned his head to stare at me. He really forgot. I knew it.

“Mama,” Jessie slid away from her father, then came to sit practically in my lap, holding me tightly as sobs overtook her. She cried harder than before, and I knew she wouldn’t stop soon.

Nick’s face as he stared at us was pure agony. He chose this, so I couldn’t find it in me to feel sorry for him. Not when my kids were hurting so much.

“They’ll come to terms with it in time,” I said to Nick, running my fingers soothingly through my daughter’s hair. “You can head out and I’ll have them call you when they’re ready.”

Nick opened his mouth, then closed it again. He did this several more times, like he wanted to say something but couldn’t.

Eventually, he just nodded, then grabbed his jacket, briefcase and suitcase, and left our home for the last time while I could still call it our home. It will be mine starting tomorrow.

“I’m sorry, mama!” Jessie cried. “I’m sorry!”

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