Page 3 of Succeeding Love

“Hey. Stop that,” I said shakily, feeling the damn behind my eyes about to break free. “It’s not your fault. It just happened, and no one is to blame.”

“No,” she hiccuped. “Not that. I’ve been texting her. Arlene. She was so nice, and I…. I was nice back.”

“Oh, baby,” I brushed away the tears under her eyes with my thumbs. “That’s great! See. This won’t be so bad.”

It hurt me badly to know that even before today that woman was taking it upon herself to connect with my daughter, but showing that to Jessie will just make her feel more guilty.

“But Preston is right,” Jessie sniffled. “She took daddy from us.”

“She didn’t take daddy. Daddy left, and it’s not fair to blame Arlene for daddy’s choices. I want your daddy to be happy, and I know you do too, so don’t feel guilty about liking the woman making him happy now.”

“But you made daddy happy.”

My chest was sore from the emptiness I felt, thinking about all the effort I put in to keep Nick happy all these years. It made me feel hollow and used.

“Neither Daddy nor I were happy together, sweetie. Now, we can be happy apart.”

~

Nick

I stood outside and listened to my wife through the open window near the front door.

Fay always opened all the windows in the house every morning in the spring, wanting fresh crisp air flowing through the house. She would never remember to close them before bed, and I would lightly scold her as I went around the house to do it.

She always had on this sweet, cheesy smile, saying things like, “that’s what I have you for,” or, “you close them better than I do.”

She was always the sweetest, kindest person to be around, which was why I fell for her. Listening to her selflessly tell our daughter that it was okay to like Arlene reminded me again how kind Fay could actually be.

She’s making this far easier for me than I deserve. She didn’t even mention it was her birthday or blame me for anything.

I feel like shit. I thought I would feel relieved, but I feel the opposite. She didn’t even fight it. She accepted everything except my offer to support her. Even after she came back down from our room, before Preston and Jessie got home from school, I tried to convince her to accept the health coverage and discuss alimony, but she would not entertain the notion. She kept saying she wanted nothing from me, besides for me to maintain my relationship with the kids.

She’s selfless to a fault.

Regret was eating away at me, making it hard for me to take these irrevocable steps away from my married life to drive away into the exciting unknown.

I was so sure about this. I’d been going over everything for weeks. Arlene wasn’t pressuring me for more than the affair, but it no longer felt good to hold Arlene during the day, then sleep beside my wife at night. I couldn’t continue having both without risking my career and reputation, so I chose the one I thought I couldn’t live without.

Now I’m not sure.

I was so bored with my mundane life, and Arlene was exciting. We have worked together for years, but it wasn’t until she got divorced that she started showing the free side of her I fell for. She smiled more. Laughed more. She was ruthless in court and didn’t take shit from anyone anymore.

I wanted that. The more I envied her new sense of freedom, the more I craved a new life like hers.

We won our first case together last year, and in the thrill and celebration, we started our affair. It was casual at first, just hooking up after work a few times a month, but then after the Christmas party Fay and I hosted at our house, Arlene asked me to go on actual dates, too. Not just meet ups in motels. Our relationship gained depth, and the closer I got to Arlene, the further I pulled away from my wife.

I forgot how thrilling dating could be, and she showed a level of dependency I craved. In bed, she was wild, with a wild heart, and she could be demanding and vicious when necessary. She was tall and slim, working out daily. She had purpose and drive.

She was the complete opposite of Fay in every way.

I knew I had to choose. I went over this so many times and knew I was doing what I needed to do to achieve that level of freedom and happiness I craved for so long.

So, why do I feel like I just made the biggest mistake of my life?

New Neighbor

Feighlynn

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