Page 35 of Out of Nowhere

“I think the big change happened between us after Haru taught me the art of throwing Kunai. I was good at it. Better than he was. I think it made him look at me in a different way. Hecouldn’t stand for anyone to be better than he was in any way. Especially me. And the one thing I had insisted on when I moved in with him was that I would continue my studies in Taekwondo. I got to the point where I could take him down, and he didn’t like that.”

“That’s not love,” Dex said.

“No, it isn’t. I see now that he was obsessed with me, and I was blind to it. I overlooked the way he got angry whenever my eyes strayed to anyone else, man or woman, no matter how innocently. I told myself he was jealous because he loved me so much. That he was unsure of my love for him because of our age difference. I tried so hard to be what I thought he wanted me to be, but, in the end, he left. I’ve never spoken to him since.”

“Do you know where he is now?” Dex asked.

“A couple of years ago I looked him up on the internet out of curiosity. He Westernized his name and married a couple of years after he left me. A woman. I didn’t even know he was attracted to women, although he dressed me like one often enough. His wife is much younger than he is. He has five children now, two of them twins, all still in elementary school. He lives in Texas and raises cattle for beef, I think.” Seo-jun took a deep breath and let it out, surprised at how much better he felt having said it all out loud. He hadn’t told anyone other than his therapist in New York about his relationship with Haru.

Dex squeezed his hand. “I’m glad you told me.”

“The weird thing is, I was never what you would call traumatized by it. It’s only now, being here, that I’m starting to remember little things and feeling victimized.”

“I don’t think it’s weird. Your mind was protecting itself. Now, maybe it feels like you can handle it. Have you thought about getting therapy?”

“I went to a therapist for about a year when I lived in New York, when I started realizing how wrong my relationship withHaru had been and when the stress of trying to make it on my own was really getting to me. It helped a lot. I guess it would do me some good to start seeing one again now that I’m starting to have these new feelings.”

Dex nodded. “That’s good. I’m glad you’re not afraid to get help.”

They changed the subject to lighter things while they finished eating, then it was time for Dex to go to see Anna.

“Will you come with me?” Dex surprised Seo-jun by asking.

“Of course,” Seo-jun replied. “I’d be happy to.”

Chapter Twenty-one: Dex

Horizon was situated at the end of a long road lined with cottonwoods and sycamores. It had an Olympic-sized swimming pool, tennis courts, and even a golf course. Garfield has spared no expense when he chose this place. When Dex had gone there earlier in the day, Anna had been participating in an art class. Some residents had been painting, but Anna and a couple of other women had been working with clay. She’d seemed happy at that moment.

When Dex and Seo-jun arrived, they were told Anna was in the solarium, and that, as Dex had requested, she had not been told he was coming. He wanted her true reaction, since he’d learned over the past couple of years that Anna could be very manipulative. With Seo-jun with him, Dex felt calmer than he had that morning when he’d visited. Dex didn’t expect Seo-jun to do or say anything—he just needed his presence. When he’d told Seo-jun that, the look on Seo-jun’s face had made Dex realize that what he’d said meant a lot to Seo-jun.

What were they becoming? Seo-jun had said he’d never considered a relationship until him. Were they starting one? Dex hoped so. He really, really wanted that.

Dex wasn’t sure why he was nervous about visiting his sister. His only guess was that it had something to do with the resentment he’d been feeling since she’d dragged him into her obsession with West. He did his best to hide it from her, but the fact remained that she’d used him and put a job he really liked in jeopardy.

Seo-jun’s hand brushed Dex’s just before they walked into the solarium, and when Dex glanced at him, his look communicated the message “You got this” as clearly as though he’d said the words.

Anna was sitting in an oversized chair reading a book, her blond hair pulled back from her face with a clip. She wore no makeup and looked a little tired. When Dex and Seo-jun walked in, she looked up, her mouth dropping open when she recognized her brother. Standing, she dropped her book and crossed the room quickly, throwing her arms around him.

“Dex, what are you doing here?”

“I came to check on you,” Dex said, hugging her back.

Anna looked at Seo-jun, a question on her face, so Dex introduced him to her.

“Are you here for work?” she asked as the three of them sat down, she on the chair she’d just vacated and Seo-jun and Dex on a green velvet couch dotted with colorful pillows. Plants and books covered almost every surface of the room, and outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, the surface of the swimming pool rippled in the breeze, bright sunlight flashing off it.

“No. We took vacation time to come and check on you. You worried me the last time we talked,” Dex said.

Anna looked at Seo-jun again, eyes speculative. “Are you two dating?”

“What? No.” Dex glanced at Seo-jun, who looked implacable as always. “He’s a friend who came with me because he used to live in California. I’m meeting two of my old climbing buddies at Yosemite tomorrow before going back. We’re going to climb El Capitan.”

“Oh.” Anna clasped her hands over the slight mound of her abdomen.

“How are you doing?” Dex asked. “How’s the baby?”

She shrugged. “It’s growing. I feel okay, for someone in prison.”

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