Page 118 of Surprisingly Us

I’m quiet as Lettie explains the process for the children’s hospital event.

As Lettie talks, I’m half listening and half berating myself for our earlier conversation.

Yes, I needed to apologize and tell her I’d fucked up, but had I really promised to not touch her again?What the fuck was I thinking?

In the moment, it seemed like the right thing to do. To backpedal us out of the gray area we crossed over into last night. To redraw the lines we originally set. The rules Lettie was determined we establish and I agreed upon.

What I really wanted to do was apologize, then beg her to let me touch her again.

For me to work off my atonement between her thighs. As many orgasms as it takes for her to forgive me. That’s what I should have done.

But she did forgive me. Or at least she’s tolerating me enough to let me come with her to this event. And she agreed last night was a mistake, so we need to find our way back to the ‘friends only’ side of this arrangement.

But fuck, the way Lettie responded when those photographers were watching us in the middle of our argument. How right that kiss felt even when the issues between us were unresolved.

My eyes drop to the smooth expanse of leg exposed by her sundress. It’s a soft shell-pink with a fitted bodice and flared skirt and Lettie looks like a fucking dream in it.

She’s a virgin.

Until last night, I’d done my best to block the thought out. But after tasting her, feeling how tight and slick she was, I wondered what it would be like to be the man that pushed between her legs for the first time. To be the man that deserved that honor.

You’re not the one. She deserves better.

I can’t argue with my brain’s response.

Even if I hadn’t been the man to trick her into a fake engagement, my reputation and history with women are enough to keep me out of the running.

When Lettie’s done practicing with me, she’ll find the real thing with a nice guy and none of this will matter. Our fake engagement will become something wild and crazy she once did.

“We’re here.” Lettie motions to the building we’ve pulled up to.

I blink, realizing she’s right. We’re already at the children’s hospital.

I help her out of the car, then follow her inside.

Just as Lettie had said, we meet with the program coordinator who then introduces us to the nurses on the floor we’re visiting.

The large box of tutus that we made a few weeks ago have been placed behind the nurses’ station. Deciding I need to pull my weight here, I pick it up and motion to follow Lettie to the first room.

When we walk in the door, I stop in my tracks.

Sitting on the bed is a young girl in a blue nightgown holding a scruff-looking teddy bear. She’s thin and pale, and her head is bald.

This is a children’s hospital and the nurse, Brittney, did give us an overview of the children’s conditions. But I wasn’t prepared for this.

I watch Lettie walk over to the girl.

“Hi, Madelyn, I’m Colette from The City Ballet.” Lettie nods to the guest chair. “May I sit with you?”

“Yes!” She pumps her arm enthusiastically. “You’re finally here! I was waiting all morning.”

Lettie smiles. “I’m sorry to keep you waiting.”

“You’re a dancer?” Madelyn asks, her brown eyes openly perusing Lettie’s frame the way I would like to.

“I am. I dance ballet.”

“Do you go on your toes? Does it hurt?” Madelyn asks.

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