Page 152 of Piece Us Together

“No.” I palm his cheek, forcing him to look right at me. Forcing him to face this one reality. “My job as yourpartner.”

His breath catches, his muscles tensing.

I hope he can’t hear the pained fear in my voice when I ask, “That’s what I am now, right? I thought we were all partners.”

“Yes. Yeah. We are.” He puts a hand over mine. “But this—thisshit, Hunter…it’s mine, okay? I don’t want to share it. Everything it touches, it taints. It’s like this darkness that sucks the life out of the whole fucking world around it. I don’t want to let it touch this. Touch us. I have to fucking protect it, okay? Ihaveto.”

It sounds good.

I’d believe it, if there weren’t so many reasons not to.

“Does Nolan know?”

“What my nightmares are about? No, he doesn’t.”

“What about your scars?” I ask. “Your other secrets?”

He looks away, making my hand fall from his face. I stare at it where it settles on my knee. “Most of what Nolan knows, he knows because it’s a part of his secret too. He doesn’t know everything.”

Ah, so it’s not just Maison shutting me out, but both of them.

Excellent.

As if summoned, Nolan appears behind us, dressed in Maison’s sweatshirt that goes halfway down to his knees. His arms are wrapped around his waist like he can sense that something is wrong. I wouldn’t be surprised. For one thing, we’re sitting on the stairs in the middle of the night. For another, he seems particularly perceptive, especially when it comes to Maison.

His eyes find the phone clenched in Maison’s hand, a dark cloud falling over him. I watch his face crumple for a moment before he manages to reel it in enough to ask, “Do you have to go?"

Maison looks away from the both of us, down the stairs. His chest heaves with the breath he forces himself to take. I watchhim in profile as he blinks and suddenly makes his expression go blank. It’s fast. Easy. A switch flipping. Something burns inside of me at the sight. At the ability.

“We talked about this,” he says quietly, and it hurts, knowing he talked about this to Nolan but not to me.When did they talk about it? Why don’t I get to know?“Shouldn’t be more than two days. Maybe three, if—” He stops, eyes darting to me.

He can’t—orwon’t—continue with me here. It’s not my business, clearly. I’m not privy to this part of their lives. Even as a partner. Even as the man they’ve both admitted to loving.

“I’ll be downstairs,” I tell them, my chest aching. “I’ll let the two of you…talk.”

They don’t stop me. Nolan looks like he might, his lips parting, his breath coming in sharp, but then he drops his chin and curls his shoulders forward, not saying a word. Maison presses a closed fist against his forehead and exhales shakily.

I walk downstairs on shaking legs, hating that I’m naked, that I’m vulnerable. I dip into the laundry room and pull on old sweats and a shirt. It feels a little better, like a barrier between me and the heartbreak I feel almost certain I’m about to endure.

It feels like an eternity, yet no time at all, while I wait for Maison to come downstairs. I try to calm myself as I wait. I focus on my breathing, reminding myself again and again that they have a longer history. They’ve had a whole stretch of time together before I was added. This thing with the three of us, this next step, this partnership—it’s new. I have to give this time. I have to put my instincts and my worry and my control issues aside and be fucking patient.

But I’m not built for that.

I’m so, so bad at that.

Ilovethem.

Why won’t they just let me fucking love them?

Maison comes into the kitchen with soft footsteps. The low lights above the breakfast bar bathe him in a warm orange glow.

He’s dressed, donning dark jeans, a black henley, and a flannel. His eyes stay on the floor for a second, then another. Then he forces himself to look at me. There’s anguish in that look. Guilt.

I hide my shaking hands, not sure what kind of goodbye I’m about to get.

“He wants to stay. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” I say, half-glad we’re focused on Nolan, but half-hurt too. “He’s always welcome. You both are. You should know that.”

---