Page 153 of Piece Us Together

“I do. Yeah. Just—uh. Just being polite, I guess.” He rubs the back of his neck. I realize his hand is shaking too.Oh, Maison. What have you gotten yourself into?“Can you do one thing for me?”

“Anything.”

“If something—if I don’t—” He ducks his head, and I’m suddenly reminded of the sob I had heard before finding him on the stairs. He sounds close to another one. He presses a hand to his face, sucking in a breath that sounds heavier than it should. Then he looks at me, blue eyes watery and terrified, and says, “If I don’t come back this time, will you take care of him for me?”

My throat tries to close up on me as I process what he’s saying. I can feel my own tears welling up. “What do you mean, if you don’t come back?”

“Hunter,” he says, and it’s anguished, desperate. He shakes his head. “You’re too smart to not know I’m into something dangerous. You know about the weapons. About the—” He gestures vaguely over his shoulder. I don’t know if he means his scars or Nolan. It could be both. “Just—I need to know you’ll make sure he’s okay. You have him, right? He’s yours?”

“He’sours,” I nearly growl, my fear so easily giving away to anger. “Who is making sureyou’reokay? Don’t fucking go, Maison. Whatever this is—say no.”

“It’s complicated. I can’t, okay? You don’t understand.”

“Then explain it to me,” I beg.

“Don’t.” He shakes his head. “Don’t ask me to do that. Don’t make the night worse. Please.”

“It would make it worse to explain it?”

His jaw ticks. “It’d make it worse to have to tell you no.”

Oh.

I try to let that sink in. Even if I asked, even if I begged, this is something he truly refuses to share. It might even be the bold red line I’m not allowed to cross, the end of our relationship on the other side of it.Why? Does he not trust me?

It hurts. Not an ache in my chest or a twist in my stomach, but a sharp, searing pain that’s everywhere.

I realized I was going to have hurdles with this man, but I didn’t account for this.

I didn’t account for him having something he seems to put above even Nolan, considering their exchange earlier. Something I don’t even get to know about. Something secret that clearly eats away at them. Something dangerous.

He’s saying I could lose him, saying he could never come back to me, and he won’t even tell mewhy.

We’re supposed to be more, now. I really thought we’d be more.

I was stupid to think the final roadblock was conquered. There’s still an entire abyss between where we are and where I want us to be. An abyss I don’t get to walk across unless invited. An abyss he doesn’t seem to want to help me navigate. Doesn’t seem to want to even let me see. He and Nolan have a map and a flashlight and they won’t share them.

He can see it on my face. I know he can because his own expression crumples, his head shaking. “Hunter—”

“Please don’t go.”

His eyes fall closed as his chin wobbles. A single tear spills down his cheek. He whispers, “Don’t.”

“I can’t lose you. Especially without even knowing—no. Just…stay, Maison. Stay with us. Please.”

“Hunter,” he says again.

But it’s all he keeps saying. It never goes further. He never gives me more. Not a fucking ounce. It’s just my name, soft, pleading, begging me to let it go.

He looks at me, eyes wide with a new kind of fear, a new kind of sadness. Goddamn him for that. Goddamn him for making me have to tear myself in half between his mental and physical safety.

“Don’t be upset.Please. That’s not fair.”

“Not fair,” I echo, dry, distant almost. Like I can’t believe it. Because I fuckingcan’t.

I should have known.

Fuck, I should have fuckingknown.

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