Page 202 of Piece Us Together

Carter snorts. “He’d last, like, five minutes tops.”

“Well, we’ll make sure to get some snacks, at least. Can’t ignore his five minutes of daddy-mode. Wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings.”

The joke doesn’t really land, Carter laughing awkwardly before we fall into a silence that’s uncomfortable within seconds.

He starts to fiddle with the radio, grumbling about all of the staticky channels. Nolan would be proud that he settles on a station playing Christmas music. It’s one of the sad songs, all longing and restrained hope. It feels fitting.

“How far away is this thing?” he asks.

“Just under twenty minutes.”

Silence again, apart from the sad Christmas music. He starts bouncing his knee anxiously. I get my own anxiety out by tapping my thumb against my left thigh, my right hand holding tight to the steering wheel.

“Roads are clear, at least,” he says a few minutes later.

I wince, realizing that not only are we resorting to awkward small talk, but that I’m making him carry it despite being the one who reached out to spend time together. I vow to do better. I end up with. “Supposed to snow again tomorrow.”

“Snows a lot up here.”

“Yeah.”

If he wasn’t able to see me, I’d smack my forehead at how stupid I feel.

“How’s your arm?”

“Oh.” My eyes fall to my covered arm for just a second before returning to the road. “It’s alright. Less painful, more just sore now. How’d you even know about it?”

“Travis told me right away.”And you didn’t call to check on me?I don’t let myself ask it. He probably doesn’t think I deserve—

“I wanted to call you, but he said you’d be pretty out of it, from the painkillers. I stopped by the house the next day, but you weren’t there. Bryce said you were busy? Then I knew about the party, so I waited. But I—I don’t know. I guess the chance to ask didn’t come up, really. I didn’t want to bother you.”

My chest warms, almost unbearably so. “You could never bother me, kid.”

“Are you forgetting the time I broke your brand new bike because I wanted to be like Tony Hawk?”

“Oh my god!” I put a hand up. “He doesn’t even bike! Heskateboards, Carter!”

Carter laughs. A deep belly laugh that brings tears to my eyes. “I thought he biked!”

“Kid, you were so damn lucky you were cute.” I shake my head, but I’m grinning. “New bikes aside, though—never hold back from coming to me, okay? You’re my brother. I’m always here for you."

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” He clears his throat. “You too, you know. You can come to me too.”

Can I?

My throat is too tight to respond. I just nod, hating myself for it.

The song switches. This one is happier.

We can see the town as we approach it, the downtown area lit up like a beacon. Carter gasps, pressing his face to the glass like he used to when we were kids and our mom would take us for drives to see all the neighborhood light displays. I can’t blame him. The decorations are gorgeous, somehow managing to be bright and colorful without being obnoxious. There’s a designated parking area, the streets of downtown cordoned off. It makes sense when a horse-drawn sleigh comes around the corner. Carter gasps again.

“Can we do that?” he asks.

“I don’t know. We’ll have to ask someone.” I park the car and nudge him with my elbow. He looks at me, wide-eyed and grinning. It soothes something in me. “Ready?”

“Yes!”

We climb out and head into the downtown area. There are vendor tents set up, selling holiday crafts, homemade apparel, decorations, and food and drinks. With a fond roll of his eyes, he points out a booth selling hot chocolate and cookies. “We should get some with our daddy-Travis money.”

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