Page 41 of Uproot

I hear Selah's soft footsteps approaching on the wood floor and turn to face her. She slows her steps, then freezes in place when she sees the doll in my hands.

Her eyes dart between me and the doll, "I-I collected those when I was younger. I held on to a few of them just as keepsakes, you know? I figured that maybe one day I will give them to my daughter," she rambles, coming to take it from me.

I watch her as she puts it back carefully next to the Teacher's Guide. She runs her hand over the front of her hair, not meeting my eyes.

I step closer to her, and gently take her hand in mine. "I wasn't judging you, Selah. You can have whatever you like in your home, ok?" I say tenderly.

She glances up at me, still looking embarrassed. "Ok," she agrees quietly.

"Let's go sit down," I say, pulling her over to one of her couches.

She settles into a spot and gathers her legs under her. I look around until I find a throw blanket to cover her with, before sitting down next to her.

"Thank you," she says, moving the crochet blanket to cover my lap too.

I smile at her, playing with her hair. "Tell me why you wanted to become a teacher, angel."

She smiles softly, her shoulders relaxing again. "I've just always really loved working with kids. When I was younger I used to babysit to earn extra money. Then when I got to high school I started working in a daycare part time after school, helping kids in the after-school program with their homework. I loved the way their faces would light up when they finally understood a concept that they were struggling with. I knew after thatexperience that I wanted to help kids for my career," she explains.

I listen amazed like I always am by her kindness and desire to help other people. "I bet you've changed so many children's lives," I say, rubbing my thumb over the back of her hand.

"I hope I've made a difference in my students lives. Even if it's just a small positive affirmation I gave them that they'll carry with them, or a bit of confidence they have gained, that would make me feel like I've accomplished a lot. It isn't all about test scores, or grades, like a lot of the Administrators try to make it out to be now. For a lot of kids, school is like a second home."

I nod, thinking of how true that was for Edison. I can't imagine how long his life would have continued to go downhill if he hadn't had an observant teacher like Selah. Being in her class must have really felt like a safe haven 5 days a week for him.

"Do you want to have kids of your own?" I ask, running my hand up and down her bare arm.

She bites into her lip, "I do, yes. I'd really love to be a mom one day."

My eyes move down to her stomach, imagining her belly round and growing a baby that looks like the two of us, but hopefully mostly like her.

"I want that too," I say hoarsely, meeting her eyes.

"Really?" she asks sounding surprised. "You don't strike me as someone dying to have more little ones running around. I bet your work is very demanding, and now you have Edison to care for."

I shake my head. "I know I have a busy schedule, but I think the last few weeks have also taught me that I can stand to be more flexible with my time," I admit. "I'd definitely like to have more kids. I think I may have been a bit on the fence in the past, but Edison really has shown me how amazing it can be."

"He is an incredible child," she agrees, smiling fondly.

"He is. Lucky for him he seems to have more of his grandfather's blood than anything else," I mutter.

She sighs, not disputing my observation, but not voicing her agreement. I wrap my arm around her shoulders, looking into her eyes, "When do you want them?"

She furrows her eyebrows, "When do I want what?"

I lower my head to her ear, "Kids, angel. When do you want to have kids?" I whisper.

She shivers as my mouth glides over her ear. "I-I guess it all depends on when I'm in a serious relationship, and what my partner thinks. I'm 38, and I'd always hoped to have my first before I turned forty," she responds.

"When do you turn 39?" I ask.

"Oh, December 6th," she says. "When's your birthday?"

"November 30th," I respond absentmindedly, my thoughts drifting into planning mode.

I silently file the information she's giving me away in my mind, doing some quick calculations and thinking of my calendar for the next two years.

My mind snaps back to reality as I feel her finger tracing over the back of my hand. Her delicate touch follows the path of my tattoo and she smiles before looking up at me.

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