Page 59 of Uproot

Every evening he insists that I have dinner with them at the cabin so that we can all spend time together. He tries to convince me to stay the night each time I'm leaving, but despite his excellent persuasive skills, I knew that I didn’t want to overdo it.

Things are going well between us, but I still need to be careful with my heart. I don’t want us to be practically living together and then have it be that much harder when everyone leaves. We’ve talked more about what the future could be like for us beyond summer, and my heart still sinks every time I think of all of them being in Manhattan while I’m still here.

I’m trying to not let negative thoughts overtake my good ones, but some days it’s still difficult.

The last day of school arrives on Friday, and all of the kids are so excited. My class is at lunch with the first-grade students and their teacher, so I’m sitting at my desk finishing up a few certificates.

My phone pings, and I eye it wearily. This week my mother has been blowing up my phone with texts, and I don’t have time for any more of her negativity. I feel like the past few weeks I have been slowly rewiring my brain, and teaching myself that it is okto have a healthier relationship with food, and value my own opinion of my body above everyone else’s.

This is what I wanted when I moved here, to be a more confident version of myself, and form real connections with people who truly care about me, and understand me. I’ve achieved that with my friends who have become like family, and now I’ve even met someone so unexpectantly who sees me in a way that no one else ever has.

I’m not going to go backwards from all of the progress that I’ve made.

My phone pings again, and I sigh, going into my top drawer to take it out. My heart speeds up when I see it’s not actually my mother.

Beckett: Have you eaten, angel?

I smile at his thoughtfulness, but my mouth falls open when I see his next message:

Beckett:Do you need to be eaten?

I laugh out loud at his audacity, and heat rises up my face as I recall for the 100thtime this week just how amazingly talented he is with his tongue. The man has skills I didn’t even knew existed in that arena.

I type out a response:

Yes, Beck. I’m eating lunch right now. But I’m not opposed to being dessert for you later..

I bite my lip and watch as the dots dance across my screen and I wait for his response.

I’ve never said these things to anyone before I met Beckett. Even though I knew my sexual desires were a bit different ever since I was a hormone fueled teenager, I never felt safe expressing them.

The one time I let something slip to a boyfriend that I had years ago, he looked at me like something was wrong with me, and I began to wonder if maybe something really was.

But Beckett makes me feel safe and comfortable enough to be myself. I can tell that he has no inhibitions when it comes to expressing his sexual desires.

He made that very clear when I was down on my knees in front of him and he called himself that five letter word that made me go damn near feral..

My phone pings and I jump at the sound, coming out of my fond memories:

Beckett: It’s been far too long since I enjoyed some..dessert. I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.

My skin tingles realizing that he will be here in just an hour for the awards ceremony. I put my phone away and finish up the certificates so I can go check myself in the mirror one more time, and go get my students.

One hour later, we are all filing into the Gymnasium for the last assembly. I look around the gym as we go in, glancing over the bleachers until I spot Dragana and Beckett sitting side by side right in front.

Dragana sees me first and waves, nudging Beckett, who slowly turns his head towards me. His eyes move over me as he pockets his phone. He’s wearing a nice navy suit, and has his hair stlyed perfectly My heart melts recalling how he looked just like this the first time he came to my house.

I wave at them and I hear all of my kids talking excitedly to each other as they spot their parents and loved ones.

“That’s my Uncle Beckett and Gana!” Edison announces, standing a few kids behind me.

“Who is Gana?” I hear Franklin ask.

“She’s like my grandma. You can meet her after the assembly!” Edison responds, and I smile, turning to see him waving wildly towards them.

Beckett gives him a thumbs up, smiling proudly as Gana blows him a kiss. It makes me so happy seeing him have people who care so much for him now, and are willing to show up for him on special days like today.

I get my class settled on the floor, and soon the assembly begins. Principal Harold gives a short speech, and the small school choir sings two songs. Soon it’s on to the awards for academic performance, and attendance.

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