Page 153 of Burn Like An Angel

“Now, I wouldn’t go that far.”

Smiling, I do as told and give Raine access to my head. He takes the shampoo I place in his hand, wetting my curls with bathwater and lathering them up. His touch is slow, coaxing. I always feel so revered in his arms.

“Can I ask you something else about your trip with Lennox?”

“Like what?” I feel my muscles tense up.

“Xander told me he’s stopped wearing that necklace. It’s vanished.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah.” Raine begins rinsing my hair with handfuls of water. “He took it off.”

In the depths of my latest episode, I hadn’t noticed that detail. Lennox has been curling up in bed with me each night, pleading with me to eat small bites of food or watch a movie with him.

It’s a gentler approach than Xander’s threats to hogtie me in a kitchen chair and shove food down my throat if I don’t look after myself. I’m sure that comes from a place of love, just Xander-style love.

“Has Lennox said anything?” I ask him.

“Nah, nothing. He seems different, though. Lighter, I guess. Whatever happened at the graveside has changed something.”

Weirdly, it gives me a slither of pride to think that I helped Lennox put some stuff aside. Even if it’s the tiniest amount. He’s carried this burden alone for so long, I want to help him.

After conditioning my hair, Raine takes his time washing my limbs, even as I protest. He completely ignores me, reaching around me to lather up my arms and legs, ensuring I’m clean.

“Does that feel better?” he asks once done.

“Yes. Thank you.”

“I’ll soap you up anytime.”

We relax in the water for a while, enjoying the comfortable silence. I feel better after getting cleaned up, but his touch is making the real difference. I wouldn’t have peeled myself from the bed on my own.

The water is almost cold by the time I feel more like myself. The internal smog is still there, but it’s receded enough for me to see the light shining through. Raine has dragged me back to the surface.

“Is that them?” I listen to the apartment door opening.

“Most likely. Shall we climb out?”

“Not yet. I want more time with just us.”

Raine presses a kiss to the top of my head. “You can have as much time as you need, guava girl. Forever if you want it. I’ve got no plans.”

My heart rate spikes. “Do you think about forever?”

“Sure. Who doesn’t?”

“I guess we haven’t had much time to plan the future, between dodging bullets and escaping psych wards. When this is all over… I don’t know what I’ll do.”

He smooths wet hair from my neck. “You know we’d all follow you anywhere.”

“I can’t expect you guys to do that. You have lives.”

“Sure, we do.” Raine laughs shallowly. “Mine is laying in my arms right now. And if you think Xander or Lennox are going to let you out of their sights, you’re in for a shock.”

Relief settles behind my breastbone, silencing the rapid beating that fills my ears. For so long, I was focused on getting out of Harrowdean and returning to my life. That doesn’t feel so important now.

My home isn’t a stale apartment in Hackney, full of dusty belongings. It isn’t the paint or canvases I replaced human connection with. Nor the state of quiet existence I’d made my peace with long ago.

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